My new favorite gaming site Destructoid has a brilliant rejoinder to the milksop "Transforming Your Girl into a Gamer" mooing going on over at Hardcore Gamer:

Now, I have heard of some small percentage of failures to this course. It's rare, but with the feminism disease now being spread by birds thoughout Asia you might have an unexpected challenge. And that's fine. If this program fails to produce results for you, you'll know what to do. I mean, at this point the bitch has clearly left you with no choice.

Since we were kids we've been taught to handle this situation.... just do what comes natural to all of us gamers: When she's least expecting it, steal her car, *shoot her in face*, and ask her lawyer to seize your Rockstar video game collection. This will help your insanity plea and get the creditors off your back until those five big white blinking stars in the sky tell you it's ok to move on.

More, as they say, after the jump.

The original guide on Hardcore is sickening for many reasons, not least of which is the untiring use of the word "chick". In particular, the use of the word "chick" with quotation marks around it.

I can just see the lecturer making air quotes while he speaks gently to a room full of testosterone-deprived young men who will want their money back at the end of the fifteen-year course, when their then-middle aged wives are still not interested in co-opping Halo 17's cow level.

Give it a rest. Should you really be dating someone who doesn't share your interests in the first place? I am consistently baffled by these droning manuals on how to manipulate your significant other into enjoying one's boring hobbies, either from the male or female perspective. The best you're going to accomplish is a feigned tolerance, followed by a renewed hatred as soon as there's a fight or a breakup. Eliza Gauger

How to Manipulate Women Into Becoming Gamers [DESTRUCTOID!]