You know what the most recognizable characters in mobile gaming are lacking? Character. Debuting March 16 and 17, Rovio's Angry Birds Toons series will define Red, Black, Blue, White, Yellow and the pigs by their story arcs instead of their parabolic arcs. Yeah, I've been waiting to use that forever.

As much as many of you have dreaded this day, I'd say it's about time. I've been playing with these characters for a couple of years now, and I don't know anything about them outside of a few static cutscenes. What are their motivations—I mean, beyond stealing and/or saving eggs? Who are they? What do they have against me leaving the bathroom?

These questions and more will be answered come March 16, though probably not.