Life For A Grand Theft Auto Call Girl Kind Of SucksS

Nobody respects the sex workers in Grand Theft Auto, man. To most players they're just an ongoing joke about what you really do in the GTA games (blow shit up and kill hookers, basically). Ever think about what it's like for the call girl to have a psychopath John running around, though?

Today, Something Awful's Zack Parsons published a clever article/diary that takes a look at the life of a GTA call girl. It's about as horrible (and funny) as you might expect. A small taste:

January 8th

A guy covered in blood and barely conscious said if he didn't get a BJ he was going to die. Sure, why not? What's the worst that could happen? Turns out the worst that could happen is he drives you up onto the roof of a parking garage and throws molotov cocktails at people until the police shoot him from a helicopter. I was stuck up there until, luckily, the guy's dead body disappeared and the car I was in ceased to exist. What a nightmare.

You can read the full thing here, though rest assured: it's not a life worth envying. Actually, it really, really sucks.

The Secret Diary of a Grand Theft Auto Call Girl [Something Awful]