Warning: NSFW language in the above trailer

Assuming I did carry all that firepower and could use it without being a danger to myself and my squadmates, I still wouldn't be thrilled about fighting things that can tear my limbs off and impregnate me by jamming an alien egg down my mouth. So, that's probably why the CO here is bucking your ass up.

Sega convened this delightful U.S. Colonial Marines pep rally this morning, which declared the mission's secondary goal of becoming the galaxy's most formidable persons who, metaphorically, engage in intimate relations with your mom. So, Aliens fans, if you're around other folks, don't play this over your speakers. It's worth finding earbuds if you have to.

Update: Gearbox Software's Mikey Neumann has tweeted that the dialogue you hear is not from the game and "I also did not write it."

Aliens: Colonial Marines deploys Feb. 12 on PS3, PC and Xbox 360.