While Aeria Mobile's latest entry in the engorged collectible card game market isn't nearly as pretty as Pirate Maidens, it makes up for it by having a name that sounds suspiciously like the ancient mouthwash of power. Behold Immortalis, more than 650 cards and 70 quest zones' worth of minty fresh fantasy battles.

Like a father cautioning his children about drug use, I realize that at some point in time you are going to run into one of these games—it's inevitable—so I'd rather you hear about them from me than some shaky card dealer in a back alley somewhere.

Featuring darker, slightly more traditional fantasy art than some of Aeria Mobile's other card offerings, Immortalis (ask your doctor about it) has players choosing between three elemental kingdoms (water, fire and air—screw earth, it's boring) and running through a series of static quests in order to earn new cards and better stats, which is important once you start to climb the player-versus-player ranks with your guild.

What makes Immortalis (lord of the Negative Zone) mildly different is that the traditional progress meter is replaced with tiny scenes of 2D sprites being obliterated by your champion. You've got no control over this, but it's nice to watch something other than a lengthening blue line.

Immortalis (third book in the Wizard's Aerie trilogy), like many mobile card games before it, is free for the iPhone right now.

Note: Immortalis is probably only one of those things. Do not taunt Immortalis.

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses

Aeria Delivers the Mighty Immortalis Unto the Collectible Card-Craving Masses