There I Was, Beating Down the Zombie Hordes Wearing Nothing But Cutoffs and a Chest Bandage

As far as first impressions go, Progrestar's Facebook zombie survival game The Last One isn't doing itself any favors. I show up in the game world wholly unprepared for the task ahead of me—torn pants, a chest wrap and a metal pipe against legions of flesh-hungry walking dead.

One would assume that shoes would be a priority in this dark new world. The less skin exposed to infected teeth the better, right? Yet here I am, looking like I do any Saturday afternoon. It's scandalous, I tell you.

The Last One is a game about survival, so eventually you do wind up securing some new duds. You've just gotta learn the ropes first. You've got to train yourself to click on zombies once in order to bludgeon them to re-death. You've got to learn to click on barricades to destroy them, which seems counterproductive if you ask me. You've got to learn to scavenge resources by clicking on trash cans and mailboxes. You've got to take it to the arena, where you can beat other players to death for no good reason.

Once you've gotten the hang of things you can visit the store and outfit your character in something a bit more protective than cutoff jeans. They don't look good on you. In order to pull off that look you've got to be some sort of quasi-infected indie girl mentor.

There I Was, Beating Down the Zombie Hordes Wearing Nothing But Cutoffs and a Chest Bandage

Exactly like that, yes.

The Last One refers to itself as "the scariest game." If it was anything like the world depicted in the game's official trailer (nice use of the Expendables) it would be. Instead it's goofy clicking fun masquerading as a survival horror game.

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