So Nintendo is here to help.

Perhaps wanting to get out in front of holiday season returns, when Little Johnny furiously explains he wanted a 3DS and not a DS (or your grandmother buys you a game that won't work in your system), Nintendo has—hastily, judging by the sound quality—put together this instructional video outlining the differences between the three handheld systems it currently has on the market.

Now all they need is to make one for the Wii U and they'll be set.