Backhanded Box Quotes: 'I Wish They Would Do a HD Remake of Blood Money'SWelcome back to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of measured, thoughtful criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic.


Coming to the end of the year's major release calendar, we still have no shortage of righteous indignation and implacable disappointment in the world of user reviews.

Hitman: Absolution

Released: Nov. 20.

Critic: monkeylion (Metacritic)
"My first review was just with a couple of hours of gameplay, now after finishing the game I can tell you that there are 3 or 2 missions segments that are old classic hitman style, the others however suck, and suck bad."
Score: 2

Critic: Raphael Johnson (Amazon)
"I wish they would do a HD remake version of Blood money!"
Score: 3 stars

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

Released: Nov. 18.

Critic: LesbianGoku (Metacritic)
"The campaign is dull and overscripted, the online is cheesy and full of 12 year olds screaming in the mic, and the game is still full of cheaters."
Score: 0

Critic: Ubifail (Metacritic)
"If CAPCOM did this Smash Bros clone, and made a small roster to sell DLC, you would have killed them. So WHY THE HELL would you support such a rip-off and distribute perfect 10's??? "
Score: 1 ("The '1' is for Nariko")

Epic Mickey 2: The Power of 2

Released: Nov. 18.

Critic: capthavic (Metacritic)
"I played for about 30 minutes before quitting because I was so mind numbingly bored with it."
Score: 3

Critic: wesker2012 (Metacritic)
"I wouldn't recommend anyone buying this game unless you want to be really pissed off."
Score: 0


Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management, unless it isn't.