If Only Sauron Had Xenomorphs On His Side

In honor of my (and our) recent rewatch of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I thought I'd share this oldie but goodie forum thread that wonders: How would Xenomorphs from Aliens do in Lord of the Rings?

This is my favorite kind of speculation, largely because everyone in the thread is so considered and takes it so seriously.

Here's Alqulod, who offers my favorite analysis:

Xenomorphs are bullet proof, and sometimes even Predator supertech close-combat weaponry fails against them.

Unless Gandalf and Radagast start using their full Maia über powers, everything dies horribly. At least in the original LotR, a human could reasonably be expected to kill Orcs in a 1:1 ratio or better...

The Xenomorphs are going to have a much, much higher kill ratio. Even a single one could give Aragorn or Boromir trouble, and those guys are pretty much as good as a human could reasonably get as far as killing stuff goes.

Frodo won't make it beyond the Misty Mountains before Sauron has offed Gondor and is making his way through Rohan and Lothlorien like a lightsaber through melting butter.

The thing is, if, as I pointed out, Frodo gets to be Ellen Ripley (Since he looks so much like her at the end anyway), we have to presume that he'll have a power loader. Which would make the final battle with the alien queen atop Mount Doom much more evenly matched.

Er, anyway. I guess the good folk of Middle-Earth can be glad that Sauron's reach didn't extend all the way to LV-426.

Feel free to discuss aliens, cross-franchise-battles, or whatever else, here or over in the Talk Amongst Yourselves forum. Have good chatting, and a good Wednesday night.

Xenomorphs in LOTR [Spacebattles forums via Thomas Ella]