If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch ThisSCats and porn. These are two of the biggest juggernauts on the internet. And a Japanese company called Soft On Nyanko has figured out how to bring them together, like never before.


The Soft On Nyanko movies feature an array of cats, doing all kinds of things, like playing with cat toys, stretching, sitting in laundry baskets, scurrying around—you know, being cats.

Soft On Nyanko (aka "SON") describes its flicks as "cat AV" ("neko AV" or 猫AV). While "AV" typically means "adult video" in Japanese, here SON says "AV" stands for "animal video".

So, no, this isn't cat porn in the sense that there's feline fornication. As previously mentioned, the videos feature cats doing cat things. So it might be cat porn in the way there's car porn or gun porn, but let's be clear: these videos don't feature cat sex—they are not actual pornography.

However, it's this knowingly tongue-in-cheek way that the videos are done in that invites the Japanese adult video comparisons. Make no mistake, this is smart—if not totally peculiar—parody.

First off, the Soft On Nyanko box art looks like, well, Japanese porn box art, right down to the lettering, the onomatopoeic phrases, and even the back cover collection of photos. Below is a Japanese adult video cover (it's been pixelated, but still might be NSFW, depending on where you are; sorry for the lack of fish, as the images would need several schools).


If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

Anyone in Japan who sees the SON videos, would immediately go, "Why are there cats in this adult video?" That is a big part of the gag. So is the company's website: It has a warning page that resembles adult sites, but instead of asking visitors if they are adults, it asks them if they like cats.

Soft On Nyanko has been around since 2003, and it seems to have been born out of an internet meme. These videos are not mainstream in any way; however, sometimes SON box art pops up on Japanese forums or Twitter as gags. Online in Japan, cat pictures and cat GIFs are just as popular as they are in the West—for obvious reasons, too! Cats are cute and funny.

The name of the company is "Soft On Nyanko", which sounds similar to Japanese adult video maker "Soft On Demand". Heck, even their logos resemble each other. But, according to SON, the name "Soft On Nyanko" refers to being "charmed" by kitty-cats ("nyanko" means "kitty-cat" in Japanese). On the other hand, Soft On Demand, which has to be the worst name for a porn company, refers to on demand software, or content.

If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

SOD's movies are notable for being, well, offbeat. And these Soft On Nyanko flicks look to be offbeat, too. There are 90 to 110 minute videos of cats stretching, of cat paws, of cat mouths, of fat cats, and even of cosplaying cats. SOD is boiling down Japanese fetish porn into "clean" cat flicks—cat flicks that cats might want to watch if they were as pervy as humans.

Currently, Soft On Nyanko is readying its next cat movie, which doesn't yet have a title. The company doesn't regularly update its site or pump out new flicks in rapid successions. That's probably because they want to get things, dare I say, purrfect.

If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They'd Watch This

Soft On Nyanko [Official Site]

Culture Smash is a regular dose of things topical, interesting and sometimes even awesome—game related and beyond.
(Top photo: Kruglov_Orda | Shutterstock/Other photos: Prestige | Soft On Nyanko)

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.