Meet the Skaris, a Retro Console so Terrible I Wish it was Real

You and your retro console street cred. It means nothing, because all your consoles run on electricity, which is so damn modern your Atari 2600 may as well be an Xbox 360.

No, you want to impress posers and collectors with your vintage machine, you pull out the Skaris, a machine so frighteningly primitive that I actually kinda want one. I've always been real good at the whole "starting a lawnmower" thing, so reckon I could get a part-time job turning everyone's console on.

Skaris One-Bit, The Oldest Video Game System Ever [CollegeHumor, via Laughing Squid]