Come tomorrow, everybody that wants to play Guild Wars 2 can, as the game officially launches for the people drawn in by everyone else talking about the damn game all weekend. You know what this calls for? You read the headline, fool. DJ Person, give us a beat!

I know what you're thinking. That other MMO — the one they pay for — that one's got separate dances for the males and females of every race. Why does Guild Wars 2 have to make the male and female dances the same?

It's so I can dance with you, baby. Now get those feet movin'.