The same week EA pulls links to weapon and gear manufacturers from its Medal of Honor: Warfighter website, the arms crafters (ArmsCrafters - ready in about an hour) of Borderlands 2 get not one but three separate full-blown video ads. Some days it just doesn't pay to be real.

If I were to slip into the futuristic fictional world of Borderlands 2, I'd buy all of my weapons from Tediore. There's just something wholesome about the way they kill, every round releasing puffs of warm apple pie scent into the air. This ad gives me the feeling that should I miss my target, my weapon will be there to tell me everything is going to be all right. Maybe it'll dispense warm milk.

The Vladof ad is all lines and marching, maroons and parchment. You know... Russian. A little heavy-handed, to be sure, but then that's the way of the stereotypical Soviet. And really we're all to blame for maintaining that one — whenever I see my friend Vlad from GameStop I secretly want to hear him say "I will break you" with that awesome accent.

Say it, Vlad!

Finally we've got the Maliwan, high tech weapons for a low tech world. They are the Apple of Borderlands 2. I bet each weapon comes in a startlingly clean and crisp white box, the Maliwan inlaid in shimmering silver. And should my Maliwan weapon jam I picture a holographic insufferable prick in a polo shirt to show up to tell me what I was doing wrong.

Borderlands 2 hits store shelves and the digital realm September 18.