Just as the U.S. dominated the medal count at the 2012 Olympic Games in London, our boys brought home the golden Pikachu cup in all three divisions of the 2012 Pokémon World Video Game Championships in Hawaii this weekend. The trading card game? Not so much.
As expected, 2010 and 2011 World Champion Ray Rizzo took the Masters Division competition once again this year, maintaining his status as the greatest Pokémon video game player in the world. I would have preferred a little more drama, but the way this guy plays the only way that would have happened is had the building collapsed, and even then I wouldn't bet against him.
Joining him in the winner's circle are Junior Division World Champion Abram Burrows and Senior Division World Champion Toler Webb, both hailing from the United States. Maybe this is why so many other countries hate us so much.
It certainly couldn't be our performance in the Pokémon Trading Card Game Championships. Japan's Shuto Itagaki, Canada's Chase Moloney and Portugal's Igor Costa walked into the ring and wiped the floor with us, taking the Junior, Senior and Master Championships respectively.
But then those card players won't be the ones showing up as downloadable competitors in Pokémon Black and White 2, now will they? My three U.S. brothers and the runners-up will be immortalized in data for the world to download, play and lose against. We are not worthy.
Interested parties can head over to the official Pokémon World Championships website to see highlight footage from this weekend's big event.