4 Tips For A Better Date, Courtesy of The SimsS

So I was playing the upcoming Sims expansion, The Sims 3: Supernatural, at the EA Summer Showcase last week. Here's the thing: I'd never played The Sims before. I sure learned a lot about how to go on a better date though!

Tip #1: Know how to control yourself before you go on out on a date. I mean this in a literal sense, sure: I didn't really know how to DO things when I started playing the expansion. But I also mean this in a metaphorical sense, too—consent is important!

Once I got my bearings, it was already too late. The date was going terribly. My date wasn't happy at all!

Tip #2: Don't go on a date until you know you're ready for it.

The thing about The Sims 3: Supernatural? It features—you guessed it—supernatural beings. Witches and vampires, that sort of thing.

My character started getting upset because things weren't going so well. My character was also a werewolf. I'm, uh, not sure that my date knew that.

Tip #3: You should consider telling your date about Really Big Awful Secrets. Like the fact that you might be a freaking werewolf. Don't think that that sort of thing might be obvious just because you're a huge hairy dude.

It wasn't a full moon or anything, but werewolves can turn in the game if they get too angry or upset. So there we were, my date and I, things kind of going downhill, when all of a sudden things get worse when an aggravated lycanthrope appears.

Tip #4: Don't turn into a werewolf in the middle of a date. And for those of you for which that doesn't apply, just don't lose your cool, okay?

Needless to say, my transformation didn't really help things and the date was a disaster. Whoops!

At least next time I'll probably have a better date, though I'm a little irked that it seems like mass media lied to me. Aren't chicks supposed to dig that Twilight stuff? Damn.