"The name's Preacher. I fight wars. I'm a Warfighter." And then he leaps through the title screen dual-wielding machine guns. Sadly this does not happen in the single-player story trailer for Medal of Honor: Warfighter.

"What's wrong, Daddy?"

Well, honey, Daddy's afraid that people are only going to pick up his game for the preorder access to Battlefield 4, and that ultimately none of these slow-motion explosions and tension-packed flashbacks are going to amount to anything, even if it is based on real events and features a hospital scene, a patriotic funeral and the dubstep jeep-splosion.

I'm as invested in the story for this game at this point as Marc Pincus is in Zynga stock. I'm keeping a little interest in case something good happens, but otherwise, bleh.