This is not a moment you screw with, Activision. This is scripture. This is the ultimate chapter in the Book of Optimus. This is not — I cannot stress this enough — not an advertisement for GameStop exclusive preorder downloadable content.

Now I've talked to folks at Activision and Transformers: Fall of Cybertron developer High Moon. I know there are some truly passionate fans of the various toy lines, comic books and cartoons among their number. We are the same, they and I.

That just makes this travesty all the more painful.

This shoddily-animated feature is not for you to ape in an attempt to tug on the heart strings of the fans in order to bolster numbers on some retailer's sales sheet.

No, this movie belongs to the children that sat in theaters back in 1986, tears streaming down their faces because a cartoon robot had died. It belongs to the kids that went home after watching it and fell asleep hugging their Optimus Prime toy, despite the fact that they had lost one of his fists and he couldn't hug back. This is for the children that took a label maker and made a tiny plastic strip that read "Optimus Prime Lives", attaching it to the side of his trailer in defiance of animated death. It's for those that believe the last acting roles of Orson Welles and Scatman Crothers were the greatest of their careers.

So no, this won't do at all.

I know your heart was in the right place, Activision, and I'm sure singer/songwriter Stan Bush appreciates the love, but this is not a thing you should have done.

Actually it's rather nifty, but all it really made me want to do is sit down with my kids and introduce them to the horrors of robots killing robots.