Let's Name the Next Xbox

The next Xbox might be called Xbox 8. Or Microsoft recently grabbed that web address for some other purpose (possibly holding it for the release of the eighth Xbox in the year 2060).

But if not "Xbox 8", what should the makers of the next Xbox call this thing? Let's help them.

Names they've considered

Xbox 720: This one shows up in that "leaked" 2010 Microsoft planning document for the next Xbox, the one that seems-more-real-because-their-lawyers-tried-to-stop-you-from-reading-it. Pro: 720 is twice the number that 360 is. Con: It's an otherwise meaningless number. Unless! Hey, Microsoft, do you want to make your next console seem like its a radio station? Then keep it locked to XBOX 720 on your AM dial.

Durango: This is Microsoft's codename for the next Xbox. Like Natal (which became Kinect), it's just the name of a place that's taking the place of a final product name. (Someone at Microsoft loves picking codenames by throwing darts at maps.)

Names they should maybe consider but also maybe should not

Xbox: Just that. Xbox. It seems to be working for Apple, which stubbornly has called its third iPad the iPad and not iPad 3. We live in an eco-friendly world where corporations do their part by helping to recycle names. We've seen it with "Tomb Raider", "Mortal Kombat", "George Bush" (joke!), "Need for Speed: Most Wanted" and the world's least-needed cinematic re-boot, "Spider-Man". Bring on ... the Xbox! It's the green thing to do.

Xbox 3: The new machine is going to be the third Xbox. This is a highly unlikely name, though, since the world just had a PlayStation 3 and might soon be getting a PlayStation 4.

Xbox 4: Yeah, just skip Xbox 3! Go to 4. This would be like when Americans who finished playing Final Fantasy III and got Final Fantasy VII next. Sort of. They could say that the Xbox 360 slim was the Xbox 3? Maybe?

Kinect 2.0: Bah. Who talks about Xbox anymore? (Aside from all the Microsoft people who talk about adding "Xbox" branding to Windows 8. Let's forget they are talking, for the moment). Kinect is the hot thing. Kinect's got the buzz. Remember when people called the Internet "the Internet" before just calling it Facebook? Great example, right? Let's do it, MS. Kinect 2.0: It Reads Fingers (and plays Halo video games if you still want to touch one of those controllers.)

Xbox 65: Actually, no.

Xbox U: Because, you know, the Xbox and the Wii U are nearly the same thing, according to unbiased personnel.

Xbox 1080: MMM. Nah.

XboxStation: I believe this was a joke suggestion from one of my colleagues.

SkrilleXbox: This too, I hope.

The Legend of Xbox: Skyward Sword: OK, that's absurd. So are: YBox, WhyBox, YNotBox, Xboxx, ZuneTV, KinexBox, KineX.

NextBox: Not terrible, compared to the ones just mentioned.

Surface Box: Nope.

XBin: At this point, I apologize for wasting any more of your time. But not before I toss in other team suggestions that suggest that some members of the Kotaku team reply to my e-mails only while suffering heatstroke: XCube, Halo Box, Your Mom's Box (Paraphrasing the Kotaku editor who suggested this one: "Because that's how kids talk on Xbox Live"), NetflixBox, Xbox^2, X=BX^2, XSquare, XYZ Box, and Ex-Box.

Xbox Evolution: Well-intended, but no.

Xbox Next: Sorta works.

Xbox Now: So does that.

Maybe they should just stick with Durango.