I'm not the world's biggest Pokémon expert, but I do know that half a dozen schoolchildren fisting a Pikachu is an image too rich to pass up for this week's Shop Contest.
Really, you need me to explain what's going on here? OK well, actually, I can't. Bash, our Japanese speaker, can't, either. In his writeup on Tuesday, he said only that this Pikachu shows up to surprise kids with a Pokémon "quiz rally." And this is the outcome? Did they win? Did the Pikachu lose? Is that nice lady helping them stuff their hands inside his mouth?
Do your worst! And by your worst I mean your best. For callbacks, we've had a ton of zany faces over the more than two-year history of the 'Shop Contest. Or think up something completely different. But I have to warn you. If this evolves to Fistachu, or anything looking like bonafide fisting, I'm gonna have to moderate.
You know the rules: The 20 best will get rounded up and published at the end of next Saturday. Meantime, I and the rest of the starred commentariat will approve and promote as many as we can so folks can see them and pass judgment.
This is your no-frills step-by-step procedure to participation in the Kotaku 'Shop Contest.
1. Create your 'Shop.
2. Upload it to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. It's stupid simple. No account is necessary.
3. This is very important: You must use the URL of the image itself. In imgur, this is the second URL it gives you after you upload the image. It's under "Direct Link (email & IM)"
4. At the beginning of the comments roll, click "Start a New Thread"
5. To the right of your name, select "Image."
6. Paste the imgur URL in the image URL field. It's the field that says "Image URL."
7. You can add editorial commentary if you want, but then just hit submit and your image will load. If it doesn't, paste the image URL as a comment.
8. This is important: Keep your image size under 1 MB. It will not upload to comments if it is over that size. What's more, we're getting reports that if your 'Shop is more than 1000px tall (vertical), it won't upload. If you're getting the broken-image icon, try resizing to a smaller dimension.
Now, Gentlemen, start your 'shopping!