Well, that's a lie. This video, released last week by popular YouTube user Lore, only sums up part of the action-shooter-stealth series' twisty, oft-incomprehensible story. Still, it's worth watching if only to see Lore's adorable cartoon portrayal of Solid Snake's adventures.

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This video contains spoilers for Metal Gear, Metal Gear 2, and Metal Gear Solid 3.