Meet Wrench, the first fighter revealed for Kung Fu Factory's upcoming downloadable fighting game Girl Fight . You know, like Bum Fight, only with girls.
Now before anyone gets angry, keep in mind that this post is running during Kotaku's Off-Kilter humor block, which is quite frankly the only place I could imagine putting it on the site. Why? Because the woman on the left of the image up top is the smartest woman in the world of Girl Fight.
In this high-tech setting a bevy of scantily clad female fighters battle "physically and metaphysically" as they fight their way out of The Foundation, a shadowy scientific organization hell-bent on weaponizing their psionic fighting abilities. In case you missed that: flimsy excuse to make pretty girls hit each other.
So what makes Wrench so special? Here's her official bio:
Wrench is the most brilliant mind the world has ever seen. She entered MIT at the age of 15 and graduated at 19 with a triple major in electrical engineering, computer science, and physics. She changed the world by developing a method for safely fusing atomic nuclei and has advanced almost every field of medicine with advanced surgical inventions.
In 2012, she was awarded the Nobel Prize for her multitude of contributions to the fields of science, energy, medicine, and military transport. However, in order to accomplish so many things by the age of 26, she has sacrificed every other aspect of her life - a decision that she will soon come to regret.
As our own Kate Cox put it, apparently one of the things she had to sacrifice was pants.
Now I'm not saying that a woman with bad tattoos, little skill in applying make-up and the fashion sense of a puppy trapped in a stripper's closet couldn't be a Nobel Prize-winning scientist. In fact I'm willing to believe that her ridiculous sense of style is due to the lack of social graces commonly attributed to those of higher-than-average intelligence.
I'm just saying that with an advertising campaign that seems to consist of sweaty, half (or wholly) naked women rubbing against each other, this was not the idea Kung Fu Factory was trying to get across.
Oh look, there's Wrench right now, researching... well I suppose we have to wait until the other character is revealed.
Girl Fight Facebook Page [Facebook]