If you need help sleeping tonight, why not curl up and listen to a man with a very proper accent read you a novel based on a video game about men with giant necks shooting monsters in the face.
If Gears of Wars' Jacinto's Remnant doesn't do it for you, you could try Halo: Cryptum, which is read aloud in the revered tones normally reserved for the likes of Moby Dick. Or Mass Effect: Revelations, which makes you realise the game's universe is a drab place without neon lights and punching reporters.
And if they don't work? Get to the end of the gallery and listen to chapter one of BioShock: Rapture. It's not an official audiobook. It's something better.