Cock'in. This was a Real Game, Once.

Cock'in. For the Commodore 64 and Spectrum. You take the eggs, and then the fish bites you on the elbow, and then you wear chicken hats, and what?

Oh, that's just the box art. The actual game had you playing as a cock, protecting your brood of eggs from things like rats and foxes, and when you find a moment's respite you can...wander off screen and fuck some chickens.

So, yeah. Cock'in. You just couldn't get away with this stuff any more. Sadly.

Some people may know the game by its alternate title, "Chickin Chase". If you do, I'm sorry you've missed out on the chance to call it Cock'in all these years.

Cock'in. This was a Real Game, Once.

Beneath the gag, this was actually a pretty fun game, especially since there was strategy involved in the fornication. You needed to have sex to keep the eggs coming, but the more sex you had, the more tired you were and thus the slower you moved, making attacking enemies harder.

Tough decisions had to be made, then, but such is life as the only cock in the henhouse.

Total Recall is a look back at the history of video games through their characters, franchises, developers and trends.