Games for People Who Don't Have the Internet. Not Even Dial-Up [UPDATE]

You may know a person who likes video games who doesn't have Internet. Don't pity them. Buy them a present. The very best gift for them might be the Internet itself, but aside from that, here's what you can get them.

Of course, if they don't have Internet because they are in prison, disregard all of the following advice...


Games for People Who Don't Have the Internet. Not Even Dial-Up [UPDATE]S

Wii games, such as The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Many major Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 games get online patches the day they come out. They also usually have a significant online component. These things aren't true on the Wii, where you can usually play your games merrily while enjoying fewer connections to the outside world than a person in a coma. The best Wii game of the year is The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, which is made for one person and will last the player about 50 hours the first time they play through it. Just make sure that this person a) has a Wii and b) is going to be able to swing their arm like they are holding a sword, which is required for the game. (Read our review.)

($50 for the game only; $70 for bundle that includes the game and the Wii Remote Plus, which is required to play the game if the Wii owner doesn't have a MotionPlus attachment on their original 2006-era Wii Remote)


Games for People Who Don't Have the Internet. Not Even Dial-Up [UPDATE]S

Batman: Arkham City or Skyrim

If the person doesn't have Internet but wants to enjoy a high-end game on PC, PlayStation 3 or Xbox 360, they won't have many great games to choose from. They technically can't enjoy the likes of Call of Duty or Battlefield without online play or would be missing huge, excellent portions of games like Uncharted 3 or Assassin's Creed Revelations. They might be able to have a wonderful time with Portal 2, but only if they have someone else to play the game's great two-player mode with them in their home. So you're left with needing to get them games with heaps of off-line single-player content. Batman: Arkham City fits that bill, with the player only missing out on online leaderboards, the chance to buy over-priced downloadable content, and a big chunk of content that lets players go on some adventures as Catwoman (that bit, at least, will be a real loss). They will get a great Batman adventure with an absurd amount of things to do. (Read our review). You could also get them the acclaimed single-player fantasy adventure, The Elder Scrolls V, better known as Skyrim. If they like swords and magic and fighting dragons, this is their game. Just be forewarned that this game gets patched a lot and will have numerous downloadable expansions, none of which your Internet-less pal will be able to enjoy. They'll have to be content with 100 or so hours of content and the few un-patched bugs that come with it. (Read our review.)

[UPDATE: This story originally, erroneously indicated that Batman and Skyrim could be played on Internet-less computers. That is wrong. Both games require an online activation. I apologize for the error.]

($60 for either game)


Games for People Who Don't Have the Internet. Not Even Dial-Up [UPDATE]

Super Mario 3D Land

Your Internet-less gift recipient will need to own a $170 Nintendo 3DS to enjoy the most delightful portable game of the year, the nearly perfect Super Mario 3D Land. Who doesn't like an excellent Super Mario game? You know, the games with the jumping and the fireballs. This one can be played in optional 3D or enjoyed without it. It's made for short-term sessions, with levels lasting about a minute or three. It's over-stuffed with content and can last well over 20 hours, none of which will be anything but fun. (Read our review.)

($40 for the game; $170 for the 3DS)


Gears of War: The Board Game

There is a chance—just a small chance—that the person you're shopping for doesn't just shun the Internet. They might also shun electricity. As long as they don't shun you, then get them a board game. We suggest, partially because it's such an odd concept, the board game interpretation of the hit Xbox 360 series Gears of War from Fantasy Flight Games. Watch our video tour of the game to see if this is the kind of thing that will play well in a place that lacks the World Wide Web.

($80)

(Top photo: Kachalkina Veronika | Shutterstock)

You can contact Stephen Totilo, the author of this post, at stephentotilo@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.