True Tales of Skyrim Adventure: An Argonian Walks Into an Execution...S

Last week we asked The Elder Scrolls fans to send us their stories, tales, poetry, and songs inspired by their journey in Skyrim, threatening to republish one each day this week. We kick off five days of fan fiction with an entry from commenter Cosmopanda, warming up the crowd for the days to come.

"So, you're an Argonian mage?" asked the Redguard, curious about the new prisoner before him.

Ignius Thrinn nodded. "Aye."

"And you're versed in the destructive arts, specifically... frost spells?" A smile crept into the corners of his mouth.

The large reptilian winced. He knew where this was going. "...Don't."

The gears had begun to turn.


"You're a wizard... a lizard, who's a wizard..."

"Please, don't." Thrinn pleaded. "I beg of you."

His protest fell on deaf ears.

"...A blizzard wizard lizard!"

It had been said, as it had been said by smartarses in every town and tavern Thrinn had ever visited. The camp erupted into laughter, guard and prisoner alike.

All the Argonian could do now was hope that the executioner worked in alphabetical race order.


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