What's happened to the monster work ethic in North America? There was a time when a giant fire-breathing lizard wasn't afraid to get up to their elbows in urban renewal. Now they relax at a safe distance, destroying buildings with fiery physics.

They say they're using their minds to solve problems instead of their fists. Why punch a library to powder when you can obliterate it with a graceful arc of fiery phlegm? Why?

Have you noticed how fat this lizard is getting? All of this inactivity, just sitting around eating power-ups and spitting all day. He's probably playing video games when no one is looking. If this keeps up the monsters in our closets will be stuck in there forever.

Thank you, JoshOClock, for contributing to the obesity of an entire giant killer species. I hope you're proud of the sick and twisted game you've got me playing.

Burn the City [Android Market]

Burn the City [iTunes]

Burn the City Flash Version [Kongregate]


You can contact Michael Fahey, the author of this post, at fahey@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.