With the third installment of Michael Bay's Transformers movie saga on store shelves, can anything wash the taste of frustrated disappointment from the mouths of hardcore fans? Rise, Snoballimus Prime.
Just in time for the DVD/Blu-ray release of Dark of the Moon, Hostess and the Baybots combine to form a pair of snack cakes colored to look like Optimus Prime and his arch-nemesis, Shockwave. Yes, I know Megatron is technically Optimus' arch-nemesis, but he's a) grey and b) doesn't have a name that puns into a snack cake very well. I suppose Mega Ding Dongs might have worked, though probably not.
When I first got word of these intriguing new creations I knew I must have them, so I went on a quest to every grocery store, drug store, Walmart, and Target in my area, hoping to get my hands on some spark-enhanced cupcakery. It was all in vain, however; there were no robot-flavored snacks to be found.
In my desperation I contacted Hostess, asking if they could perhaps send review cupcakes. They said yes.
It was one of the greatest days in my life.
As the only member of the Kotaku staff that isn't slim, fit, or Owen, the fact that I could just ask Hostess to send me cupcakes and they would was like my wife telling me I could have sex with her without paying, only this time it really happened.
If you've eaten a Hostess Cupcake or Sno-Ball in the past, then you know what to expect here. Neither of these is a massive departure from the established formula.
Snoballimus Prime is just a colored Sno-Ball, seemingly unaffected by the color change. It's the sort of limited edition snack you'll want to eat in front of other people, because otherwise who cares if you just ate some blue coconut dusted marshmallow-covered chocolate cake filled with red creme filling? It's just like blue alcoholic beverages. If you go out of your way to drink them when no one else is watching, then you're an alcoholic.
The Chocwave cakes replace Hostesses signature swirl of white-flavored sugar for sparkling sugar crystals, making these the cupcake of the future. I like to imagine I am eating Transformers energon fuel when I bite into one. This makes it easy to devour the entire box in one sitting, lest I invite giant robot war to my pantry.
The final verdict? Eating Hostess Snoballimus Prime and Chocwave snack cakes is like eating Hostess Cupcakes or Sno-Balls, only slightly different. If you're a Hostess fan, you might as well pick these up when they're available.
I just can't help imagining these would be better if they were based off the original 80's series.
Hostess Snoballimus Prime and Chocwave Snack Cakes
Price: Varies by Store
Availability: Grocery stores across the country
Suggested pairings: Transformers: War for Cybertron, Transformers (PlayStation 2 Armada version), Milk