Seven years ago, in uncertain times fraught with peril, the president challenged this great nation to, by the end of 2011, rocket-jump and safely land a Spartan from one tower to the second on the Halo: Combat Evolved level "Halo." The nation's greatest minds set about to solving and answering this urgent national priority. And, against formidable odds, yet determined to win in the face of repeated failure, they have at last succeeded.
This was a stunt deemed impossible from the day it was conceived in 2004. But the great rocket-jumping race that followed, between Boofass and Duelies, delivered amazing technological advances, ennobled the best and brightest of a new generation of scientists, and invented Tang.
Many lives were lost. We remember them here (and you had better goddamn well salute when you watch). But finally, on June 4, 2011, Duelies completed the first tower-to-tower rocket jump in Halo: CE. And for a brief moment, Duelies became the greatest Spartan anyone had ever seen.
(*hums "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"*)
Why rocket-jump between the two towers? You may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 84 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?