Long before the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung discovered a portal to Outworld and pleged his service to Shao Kahn, he was known to take his baby by the hand and make her do a high hand stand. True story.

Back then he was so in phase and cool on craze, but it was a different world. The sort of world where I, you, and everyone we knew could believe, do, and share in what was true. I miss those days.

Now Shang Tsung is done having fun, instead spending his days playing host to the Mortal Kombat tournament, urging fighters to rip it up and move it down to the ground for the fate of Earthrealm.

Mortal Kombat hits stores on April 19 for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.