Ah, the NCAA Football Mascot Mashup. It's like Capital One handed you some blotter acid and asked "What's in your subconscious?"
Kotaku reader Alex H. teed up the game's fan fave goof-off mode with a buddy, picking Colorado State's Cam the Ram, at home against his pal playing Knightro from Central Florida, alma mater of Kotaku editor Michael McWhertor. Cam looks like a constipated longhorn sheep gritting his teeth mid-strain; Knightro is a little more stylish, but his crazy face looks like the front end of an old-timey fire engine.
In Mashup, all teams are A-plus rated in everything, and juke moves are replaced by crazy flips and stunts. So, we're not talking true-to-life simulation football here. That said, Alex and his friend still tried to implement some strategery. "His game plan was to pound the ball up and down the field on me and throw deep balls while I was relying more on short passes to wide open recievers and getting yards after the catch," Alex writes.
Trailing by three with 2:30 remaining, Alex's Cam squad drives to the UCF 10, stalling there on 4th and 4. After bringing on his field goal unit, Alex calls time, sends the offense back on the field and picks up the go-ahead touchdown on a wide open corner route, 35-33.
The Knightros get the ball back on their 18 and, after two incompletions, have one last shot with six seconds left. "He has his wideouts run fades and heaves the ball up. The reciever has two defensive backs tight underneath and a safety over the top. One of the underneath DBs swats the ball and I think, ‘OK game over.'
Nope. "The reciever makes a one handed circus catch, breaks a tackle and he's in for the score, no more time on the clock."
"I couldn't even be mad. It was just such a miracle play, made all the better by the fact that we were a ridiculously looking Ram and cartoonishly big-headed Knight."
That's the spirit. Here's the Box Score!
Remember, all you have to do to get yourself featured in Box Scores' Game of the Week is take a picture of whatever you've been playing - crappy cell picture will do - write up a couple sentences about why it was so compelling, and email it to me, owenATkotakuDOTcom, with "Box Scores" in the subject header.
Now the Kotaku Sports open thread commences with the sports TV schedule for today and tomorrow. All times are U.S. Eastern.
In preseason action, Cleveland and Detroit are on the NFL Network, 5 p.m. Dallas and Houston duke it out on CBS at 8 p.m. - loser has to git out of Texas by sundown. No, not really. But I wish.
Tomorrow, Pittsburgh plays at Denver on Fox, 8 p.m.
- Major League Baseball
Fox serves you either Philadelphia at San Diego, Minnesota at Seattle, or Florida at Atlanta, all at 4 p.m. The Yankees visit the White Sox, who are still waiting on Manny Ramirez as I type this, at 7 p.m. on WGN.
Tomorrow, the Cubs face the Reds on WGN at 1 p.m.; the Sox and Yanks do it again, this time at TBS on 2 p.m. And Tampa Bay gets the Red Sox on ESPN at 8 p.m.
The FIBA World Championships begin this weekend in Turkey. Today's games are probably finished by now, but the U.S. gets revenge on those no-good son-of-a-bitch bastard Slovenians for the World Cup tomorrow at 9:30 a.m., ESPN 2. After that, NBA TV has Puerto Rico vs. Greece and Spain vs. New Zealand, 11:30 a.m. and 2 p.m.
- Little League Baseball
Tomorrow, the International championship pits Japan vs. Taiwan on ABC, 1 p.m. Texas faces Hawaii in the nightcap at 4. The winners play each other at 3 p.m. tomorrow.
- Mixed Martial Arts
UFC 118 is on pay-per-view from Boston's TD Garden at 10 p.m. The headline fight is Frank Edgar vs. B.J. Penn. Preliminary bouts are on Spike TV at 9.
Fresh off an unbelievable 2-nil victory, the unstoppable (read: last place) D.C. United visits the Baby Goats in L.A. ESPN 2, 10 p.m.
Tiger Woods' post-divorce catharsis may have only lasted one round. After firing a first-round 65 for a share of the lead, he slipped to a two-over 73 at The Barclays and went into Saturday four strokes back. Third round action is today at 1 p.m. on the Golf Channel, 3 p.m. on CBS. Final round is tomorrow, noon on Golf Channel, 2 on CBS.