Let's open our sports thread and Game of the Week with this, DJ Steve Porter's sequel to Press Hop, which I just can't stop playing. I don't know any psychiatrist that come off the bench, but I'm gonna need one.

Our Game of the Week this time comes from TeamBuilder in NCAA Football 11. AcidCrownie's Memphis College Ducks - not saying there are no ducks in west Tennessee, but, unusual name - play in the Big East, which is awesome. More awesome is that Michigan also is in that league. Welcome back to Morgantown, RichRod! That's assuming he still has a job in this reality. He might be washing dishes at Arkansas State.

AcidCrownie built the Ducks with the "Average Joe" template, to set up the shock-the-world upset. And he delivered, surrendering just 201 yards on defense, 46 of that to Michigan's running game. Memphis College goes up 7-0 when cornerback John Chase intercepts Tate Forcier and houses it 25 yards later.

Tied at 10 after the half, Ducks sophomore quarterback Eddie Dukes slings an interception and the Wolverines appear to be in control. But defensive end Jim Farris blasts through the line to Forcier and cleans his transmission, knocking the quarterback out for eight weeks with a busted collarbone. Oh yeah, there was also a fumble, which linebacker Brian Fleming snags and rumbles 61 yards for the touchdown. Memphis College adds a field goal, which turns out to be decisive as the Wolverines bomb a 74-yard TD late in the third quarter, but are intercepted on the game's last drive to make the final 20-17, Memphis College.

"The results of this game have analysts across the country reeling in shock, going back to their prediction boards, and penciling Memphis into the "Dark Horse" column," AcidCrownie writes. "Predictions have also started to trickle in on time until the replacement of Dukes. Eddie, with 11 completions, 32 attempts, 0 touchdowns, and 4 interceptions, we recommend that you head back to class and leave the football to the athletes. Although, we're having a hard time believing that you would do any better in the classroom."

Man that's harsh. Here's the scoreboard!

Box Scores: Putcha Name On It

Back to that Steve Porter video. Miscellaneous video game angle: At 1:27, the sound effect accompanying Phillip Wellman's rosin bag grenade toss? I'm saying that's the grappling hook from the beginning of Elevator Action.

P.S. Anyone 33 or older knows how colossally stupid it was for Mitch "Blood" Green to call Mike Tyson a homo, on camera, back when Tyson was truly the undisputed baddest man in the galaxy. Tyson, later, literally broke his hand punching Green in the face - bare-knuckled. Think about that, in our sports open thread below!

All times are U.S. Eastern.

  • X-treme Shit
    Yeehaw, it's time for the goddamn X-Games. Let's all tune in for trashcan luge and moped biathlon. 2 and 7 p.m. on ESPN, today, 1 and 7 p.m. on the Deuce tomorrow.

  • Fake Football
    The Hamilton Tuques face the Saskatchewan Milk Bags at 6:30 p.m. on the NFL Network.

  • Baseball
    Game o' the week today: Tigers at Red Sox, Dongers at Giants, Bravos at Cincinnati, 4 p.m. check local listings. Tonight, Cubs at Rockies, 8 p.m. on WGN.

    Tomorrow, it's the Yanks at Tampa, 1:30 on TBS; Oakland at ChiSox, WGN at 2, and Dongers-Giants is the National Game of the Week, 8 p.m. on ESPN.

  • Motorsports
    Today, the junior-series U.S. Cellular 250 runs in Newton, Iowa at 7:30 p.m. on ESPN2. Tomorrow, NASCAR's Pennsylvania 500 drops the flag at Pocono, 1 p.m.

Remember, you may send Game of the Week nominations to owenATkotakuDOTcom, and flag it "Game of the Week" in the subject header. Please include your commenter handle for proper credit.