Who Needs FarmVille When You Have This Lawnmower Simulator?S

Digital plowing, planting and sowing is so January 2010. Advanced Lawnmower Simulator 2: The Revenge of King Zord! Is my personal gardening game of the month.

ALS2TROKZ! is a crafty blend of text adventure of low-res graphics, asking you to "Go Get That Grass!", but at your own speed. There's no leveling up here, no need to have good eye-hand coordination or spend hours leveling up your character. You don't even have to worry about your grass wilting.

The game kicks off on a grass green screen where you can meander through a virtual toolshed (with the click of one of six buttons) to choose your grass-killing tool of choice. I'll sometimes check out the Campari Grassmaster, but the Patio Sprintette is my cutter (that's what I like to call lawn mowers) of choice.

After wheeling out my weapon, I have to give it a good pull start and then I'm off, tearing through neat lines of grass on my way back to the house. It's thrilling to see the dark green give way to a cleaner, better, lighter green until I've finally arrived at the base of my house, the sun still low in the sky.

Now, if only I could perfect my mow and hit that one spot. Maybe next time. For now, it's all about the tea and cakes. Maybe Great Uncle Alfred will even stop by one day.

Advanced Lawnmower Simulator 2: The Revenge of King Zord! [Advanced Lawnmower Simulator 2: The Revenge of King Zord!, discovered via Ian Bogost's Twitter]