A-Ha! ESRB Outs Lips: I (Heart) the '80sS

Yes, yes, simmer down, I know you were all dying for another installment of konsole karaoke. Happily, the ESRB issued another of its fabulous spoiler alerts, letting us know we'll be wailing along with one-hit wonders sometime soon.

It's rated T for "Lyrics, Mild Violence, Sexual Themes, Use of Alcohol and Tobacco," but any objectionable content seems to come from the accompanying music videos. Let's read the certificate and see if we can pick out the songs:

"Music videos include depictions of men and women in revealing outfits performing provocative choreography; for example, women in negligees, black bras, panties dancing inside a classroom [Van Halen: "Hot for Teacher" or J. Geils Band "Centerfold"?]; large amounts of exposed cleavage, some grinding dance moves; and background images of storefronts/signs reading "25 cent Peepshows," "Live Sex Theatre," and "Topless Girls Dancing." [Madonna: "Open Your Heart?"] Some videos depict people smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol (beer, champagne, ale, etc.). A video depicts two claymation-style armies wielding swords, striking each other, losing limbs in battle; another video briefly shows a woman with a pistol shooting a man. [I should know both of these. They escape me.] Song lyrics may contain references to sexuality (e.g., "Ménage à trios," "She's a very kinky girl," "I really love to taste her," and "You don't have to sell your body to the night") [The last three are "Superfreak" by Rick James; "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" by Bryan Adams, and "Roxanne" by The Police.]

No clue when this releases, so you're going to have to be satisified with wailing "Take on Me" in the shower a little while longer.

Lips: I (Heart) the '80s Rating Certificate [ESRB]