Why Apple Declared War on Titilation (For The Women and Children)

Apple has taken swift action against applications in the iTunes Application Store. The reason: Apple says that it has done so because some women and parents have complained.

As revealed by Wobble iBoobs developer Jon Atherton via website TechCrunch, here is the Victorian laundry list of no-nos in apps:

1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)
2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn't ask about Ice Skating tights for men)
3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)
4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)
5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned
6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble "overtly sexual!)
7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

Oh, and no piano legs. Kidding! As Kotaku pointed out, the iPhone and iPod Touch (as well as the iTunes Application Store) are Apple products so the free speech argument doesn't fly. And so, fairly innocuous apps like Pixel Love have gotten the boot.

Why Apple Declared War on Titilation (For The Women and Children)

"It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see," said Apple exec Phil Schiller.

These are the same children able to download R-rated movies and songs with explicit lyrics — with valid credit cards. Hey, that's just like the App Store! Can't Apple create an age gate for its mature app content? Or must it insist on treating all of us like small children?

When asked why the Sports Illustrated and FHM apps remain in the iTunes Applications store, Schiller replied, "The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format." Read: Sports Illustrated and FHM (and Playboy, too) aren't some small-time developers.

Why Apple Declared War on Titilation (For The Women and Children)

Good thing the App Store prevents us from seeing women and men in bikinis, because racy stuff like that is never shown in magazine ads, television commercials, billboards and TV shows. And ice-skating outfits, too! Phew.

Good thing one cannot access the internet for the iPhone and iPod Touch. And good thing there is no pornography on the internet.

Also, sure glad Apple is being fair about this. Thanks, Apple!

Why Apple Declared War on Titilation (For The Women and Children)

Apple Purges Blue Apps from Online Store [New York Times via Tech Crunch via Gizmodo] [Pic]