Rockstar Deems This An Epic 'StacheS

The results are in from Rockstar's Red Dead Redemption Movember contest, with Canadian Charles Leece growing the award-winning moustache, securing a cameo in the game. I can't help but question their judgment.

I mean, sure, this is a contest aimed at promoting the Movember movement, in which men grow facial hair during November to raise awareness of important men's health issues such as prostate cancer, but that doesn't mean you should toss the prize to some random Canadian who runs a beard trimmer over his chin. No offense to Mr. Fleece, who I am sure is a lovely man worth far more than $10 dead, but I could grow that by the time I'm finished typing this sentence.

Unfortunately I was not allowed to enter. Any attempt to shave off my facial hair, a requirement for the contest, results in my friends and family throwing themselves in front of my shaving razor, shouting "No!" in slow-motion. Apparently I look like a mutant Cabbage Patch Kid when clean-shaven.

I hereby deem this contest biased against men who cannot shave off their existing facial hair for fear of serious social repercussions.

Still, congratulations to Mr. Leece. I do appreciate him stepping up to the shaving mirror to represent men's health issues, even if he's a facial hair lightweight.