Once again, The Onion cuts to the chase: Lane Kiffin, the new football coach at Southern California is rumored* to have been wooed away from the job by the chance of a lifetime: Working at a GameStop.
(* - By "rumored" we mean "this is pure bullshit, but funny.")
Kiffin is 34 and looks about 22, so his face is less that of "steely-eyed college football general," and more like someone who wants to upsell you to an Edge card and Game Informer subscription.
The fake quote attributed to Kiffin: "I was approached by a cousin who works at the GameStop on Wilshire Boulevard, and when he said there was an open sales clerk position, I had to take it. I have been going to that GameStop for years. I know the people there. I know the customers. This is just an opportunity I couldn't pass up."
In such a role, I'd expect Kiffin to publicly accuse GameStop rival Game Crazy of tampering with his preorder customers and breaking street dates for Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, followed by a reprimand from the regional manager.
Lane Kiffin Leaves USC for Dream Job at GameStop [The Onion]