When 2009 is said and done, the Kotaku readership will have viewed the site more than 600 million times this year, an impressive mountain of clicks, comments and—based on this year's most read posts—lecherous gallery ogling.
Of the top ten most voraciously "read" posts, two feature Zoey from Left 4 Dead in various states of undress. The word "porn" appears in two headlines, the word "stripper" in another. Another features the highest concentration of unicorns we've ever seen on Kotaku. In other words, you guys are pervs who come for the steady stream video game coverage, but pounce on an opportunity to see a boob.
While many of our original reviews—Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Borderlands—and features—Owen's on the Gamerscore obsessed and Fahey's on the Everquest obsessed—garnered heaps of attention, it's these posts, for better or worse, that outperformed everything else.
Seriously. This Should Be Illegal.
Best Buy's bullshit pricing on Geek Squad services isn't anything new, but the screengrab tag was in 2009. These lightning quick hit posts are often light on editorial, but always generate interesting discussion.
L4D is NS4W With Nude Zoey Mod
Everybody loves Left 4 Dead survivor Zoey. And some lust for her, expending enough effort to get the poor girl's pants off in the game by way of the nude Zoey mod, a hit with the readership. We've not yet heard of Left 4 Dead 2's Rochelle getting the same treatment.
Tales Of Horror From The Circuit City Liquidation
Danny. What a dick.
Games, Not Porn, is Adult Actress' Secret Pleasure
Porn stars, they're just like us! Minus the constant, overacted sex, of course. Unsurprisingly, Ms. Raven's two other Kotaku posts, drew similar horny crowds and our fair share of detractors.
Leaked Star Wars Battlefront 3 Gameplay Footage
Portions of the remains of Free Radical were on display for Star Wars Battlefront fans to mourn the developer's passing. It was this video, the most viewed video of the year on Kotaku, that gave us a peek at Battlefront 3, showing just what some of that artwork would have looked like in motion.
Strippers or Counter-Strike - Which Gets a Gamer's Attention?
It was a rhetorical question.
Left 4 Dead Reaches Ultimate Milestone: Parody Porn
Pretty disgusting, considering the fantasy rape nature of these Left 4 Dead parody videos that feature full penetration, but Zoey fantasies really go far with the fellas. I'm glad my mom doesn't read this site!
PS3 Slim Vs. Xbox 360 Elite: Tale of the Tape
Not much more than a feature spec for feature spec comparison of the then relatively new PlayStation 3 slim redesign and the Xbox 360. And readers flocked to it.
The Year, NSFW
Owen's end of year wrap up of the year's stories that required shutting one's office door, which really wasn't that bad to begin with, considering the nightly pantsu stories that Ashcraft posts.
The Konami Code Makes ESPN.com Magical!
For a few, glorious moments, ESPN.com was "cornified." Type in the classic Konami code and visitors were soaking in rainbows, ponies and unicorns. It's the post that launched a thousand tips of the "Hey! Did you know that the Konami code works on Facebook?! LOL!" nature. Yeah, we heard. Thanks!
Well, thanks for sticking with us another year, Kotaku kids! We appreciate your business and promise to never post anything not safe for work in 2010. Pinky swear!