The Year, NSFW

Every year has its moments suitable for framing. Here, our look back at 2009 presents the ones meant for stuffing under your mattress: It's Kotaku's Year NSFW, which, as the title implies, is NSFW.

Bayonetta's Got It, Flaunts It:
Without a doubt, Bayonetta was the high-amp vamp of gaming in 2009, and she hasn't even hit North America yet. In Japan, the ass-kicking, pistol-packing, hair-whipping witch with the naughty librarian look earned critical acclaim from no less than the Japanese director of the cinematic tour de force "Would You Like To Get An Enema Until You Poop?" Stateside and elsewhere, she emerged from relentless early comparisons to another gun enthusiast MILF, Sarah Palin, to become the undisputed cosplaying rookie of the year.

The Year, NSFW

GTA: The Schlong and the Damned
The year's first major NSFW story came out of Rockstar, which broke new ground in Grand Theft Auto: The Lost and Damned by becoming the first video game to show flaccid congressman dong. Fahey then bravely examined the historical importance of this depiction by providing a recap of nudity in games, "the good, the bad and the ugly." Hey, two out of three is bad.

Cussing-Outs and Swearing-Ins:
NSFW doesn't just mean T&A. Bad language also qualifies, and we had hilarious highlights for that, too. Grandma Hardcore, the game-playing senior citizen, spewed filth-flarn-flarn-filth-flarn over Brütal Legend. Ice-T (in a video featuring his NSFW wife, Coco) went apeshit playing Modern Warfare before demanding a Snapple to quench his thirst. And Ozzy Osbourne, talking to Fahey at Blizzcon, was just, well, Ozzy.

The Year, NSFW

Just Two Words: Demon Tits
BioWare RPG's are eminently serious affairs, but the sex factor in Dragon Age: Origins' pre-release publicity got a little silly. The game gave us gay hookups with elves, brothel encounters with livestock, and everyone doing it with their underpants still attached. And, of course, Demon Tits.

Sheva-va-voom
Bayonetta and Dragon Age were far from the only titles ramping up the sex appeal. Resident Evil 5 opened the year with Sheva, and enabled gamers to instantly center the camera on her chest. This is especially useful once you unlock her secret tribal costume.

The Year, NSFW

Boob! Headshot!
In October, two elite Counter Strike teams from Russia face off, but the event's promoter throws in a little "force multiplier" - a room full of strippers, disrobing and gyrating beside, over and on their monitors. The team forZe kept its focus and defeated rival Virtus.pro.

Attachments and Oddities
A product called the "Joydick" needs zero introduction, and I'll spare you from the description. And a tiny title offered over the Xbox Indie Games channel, which turns your controller into a rumbling vibrator, added console peripherals to the list of hiding-in-plain-sight sex toys. Slightly less sexy: The handcrafted Pokémon menstrual pad for $8 whose up-side I couldn't correctly identify. Finally, a lawsuit over virtual sex toys in Second Life gave us a darkhorse candidate for the Oxford English Dictionary's word of the year: "Fuck Coffins."

Things Seen and Never Unseen
Mario and Peach made a tape that, like much of porn, has sex but is soooooo far from sexy. The Mushroom Kingdom's top plumber also laid some pipe with Lara Croft in this unaccountably weird video from, where else, Germany, which also featured Pong sex. In that vein, have you ever wanted to see a Tetris piece masturbate? No? Too bad, here it is.

The Year, NSFW

The Second Sexiest Game of 2009
Left 4 Dead instantly spun off a robust modding community; too bad it chose to use its powers for evil, giving us the Nude Zoey Mod. Because, hey, nothing's hotter than blasting apart the leprous undead with a saucy deshabille look. It wasn't L4D's only brush with the naughty-naughty. Horny infected took to the personal ads for our Valentine's Day prank, where they hooked up with a horde even more mindlessly disgusting - the Craigslist casual encounter lurkers. Finally, porn gave the zombie FPS the ultimate compliment, a sex flick punning the title, named "Left 4 Head."

The Year, NSFW

Munn's the Word
G4's "Attack of the Show" co-host took (most of) it all off for Playboy in June, despite a relentless haranguing from a Playboy stylist to try going commando under imaginary pants. Munn refused, saying the outfits they had in mind would have made her vadge "look like a Honeybaked Ham." Way to work it, Olivia! Geeks were in high dudgeon, because there is no other kind of dudgeon, over Playboy's beyond-the-pale exploitation of their hormones. Or just that it was a Tuesday. Many made the shocking declaration that she just wasn't hot enough, although Munn, as of press time, had no plans to do any of them.

The Year, NSFW

Porn O'Plenty
In September, Vivid Entertainment's CEO says his firm is interested in getting its seminal works (ha ha, get it?) available for download over the PlayStation Network, an offer Sony ignored discreetly (in a plain brown wrapper.) But he's far from the only figure in adult entertainment to make the games crossover in 2009. Bobbi Starr, the X-Rated Critics Organization's regining "Superslut" finds work at E3 as a booth babe for Dirt 2. Porn legend Ron Jeremy joins actresses Krissy Lynn and Andy San Dimas (taking the whole use-your-address-as-a-porn-name motif a little seriously) in Fairytale Fights trailer promos of a viral nature, but not the one that sends you down to the free clinic. Finally, adult star Raven Alexis, an avowed World of Warcraft enthusiast, closes out the year with her five-step plan to winning the heart of a gamer girl - provided, of course, you know one in real life.