New Super Mario Bros. Wii, As Marriage SimulatorS

Are you struggling to grab that ice flower? Is Luigi slowing you down? Need a new strategy for New Super Mario Bros. Wii? One man and his wife discovered a breakthrough: Play the game like it's their marriage.

Fresno Bee writer Mike Osegueda reports that he and his wife initially were having a frustrating time playing New Super Mario Bros. Wii together.

And then, without the cost of a therapist, Osegueda had a revelation:

I realized the way I play "Mario" is like a bachelor lives — running through each level as quickly as possible, daring crazy jumps and sometimes paying the price.

She's more slow and careful, watching how situations develop before making a move.

I'd see her glaring at me when I ran too far ahead. But she was there to slow me down when I was about to do something that would probably kill Mario and end our game.

As we continued to play, we started handling the game the way we handle chores — picking tasks that fit us best individually. It's why she washes the dishes and I put them away.

Soon, I saw "marriage" in Mario's every move. When our characters gather coins, they all go into one pot. Hello, joint bank account. Picking which level to play next is sort of like picking what to have for dinner. You should talk about it before pressing a button.

Over the weekend I played New Super Mario Bros. Wii with a few other people. Not being a polygamist, I can't liken that weekend session to any marriage I've ever been part of. The rotating trio of us had all the coordination and cooperation of a group of people running after a hundred dollar bill.

'New Super Mario Bros. Wii' is a lesson in marriage [Fresno Bee]