No Mercy in Left 4 Dead Hospital "Reviews"S

Mercy. The hospital in Left 4 Dead's "No Mercy" campaign, and the name of a real one in Pittsburgh. And Louis, Zoey, Francis and Bill are sowing panic about its conditions, the access to medication, and patients you'll find there.

Some eye-opening (and - for the irony-deficient - pranked) reviews for Pittsburgh's real Mercy Hospital started popping up a couple weeks back on Citysearch, beginning with "FrancisSilverman" under the heading, "I hate hospitals!"

You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests.
• Pros: I hate doctors!
• Cons: I'm getting tired of these damn vampires!

"WilliamOverbeck" followed with another one-star rating; "We blasted our way through hordes of zombies that had their rotten asses hanging out of the hospital gowns, only to find a zombie helicopter pilot on the roof!" And "LouisLuvsCounterStrikeNPillz" gave it a 2-star rating summarized with "awful. ...

"WHY THE HELL WERE THERE GUNS, MOLTOVS, PILLS, AND PIPEBOMBS IN A FREAKING HOSPITAL!!!!!" Louis complained. "SERIOUSLY DO YOU EXPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS TO KILL THEMSELVES?"

And it's not a party for the zombies, either. HunterPunter today called Mercy Hospital "a bad place ..."

This place was evil! I was just chilling here with by Smoker buddies then all of a sudden a bunch of surviving humans try to blow us to bits. I am NEVER coming here again...
• Pros: great place to chill after a zombie apocalypse
• Cons: survivors....

Perhaps the most comprehensive description of Mercy Hospital's infected awfulness comes from "Toshinden":

I went to this hospital to have my chronic headaches treated or at least diagnosed. Upon entering, I asked the receptionist for some help. Instead, she lept over the counter and started clawing at me. But there just happen to be some guns on the seats. I sadly had to kill her in self defense. Knowing the cops were soon to follow, I proceeded to go up. I wasn't thinking, just going up. On the way up, I had faced many disgruntled patients and workers. One patient was polite enough to vomit all over me. While I was blinded, his posse (i am assuming he is a gang leader of sorts) started running at me and beating me. After successfully escaping, my headaches have only gotten worse. After consuming large amounts of pills, I stumbled my way onto the roof, where a man possibly being treated for a steroid overdose was waiting for me. After tossing me off the building, I almost lost my life. I was thankfully recovered by some strange African American man claiming to have his pills. I am home safe now. But no amount of pills and medpacks will cure my emotional and physical pain.

• Pros: The pills were here.
• Cons: So was the tank.

At publication time, UPMC Mercy Hospital of Pittsburgh, a real health care facility, "the first hospital in Pittsburgh and the first Mercy Hospital in the world," with a record of care going back to 1847, has 10 one-star ratings out of 12 overall on Citysearch, thanks to Left 4 Dead.

Mercy Hospital, Pittsburgh, PA 15219 [Citysearch, thanks to Ryuji, who wins the weekend with this tip]