To: The Japan Crew
From: Fahey
Re: Absolutely Nothing

Look kids, just because you are all in Japan and I am here with Owen and AJ (collectively known now as The A-Team) in the ghostly-quiet North American Kotaku Tower doesn't mean you can skimp on the Night Note. We came into the tower this morning with absolutely no clue what had happened the night before. What had we missed? What kind of crazy hijinks had Totilo gotten himself into this time? Has Luke punched any Japanese people? Not that he is there. I'm just curious. We don't know. And that saddens and frightens us at the same time. Sightened. Fraddened. Whatever.

It doesn't have to be long. Just a quick sentence letting us know that McWhertor didn't get kidnapped and sold into slavery, expecting to bring big money on the secondary market due to his combination of boyish good looks and sardonic charm. They pay a lot for sardonic charm, believe-you-me.

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I'm not going to ask again. The next time I wake up and there's no Night Note, I am coming out there, and you can be damned sure I'll be coming unprepared for the culture shock I will encounter there, until I run into Scarlett Johansson and have a whirlwind romance, only not all wimpy and platonic like Bill Murray did.

What you missed while I was wooing Scarlett in my mind:

Scene It? Brings Twilight's Sparkle Pony Vampires To The Wii
Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker Looks This Good, This Stylish
Alan Wake Impressions: Bad Time To Lose The Flashlight
Square Enix Creates Puzzle RPG With A Bejeweled Twist
8 Minutes Of Modern Warfare 2 Story Mode
Sony Nixes Plans For UMD Conversion Program For PSPGo