This week's Nintendo Download is dedicated to those of you who felt that the poker games already available for the Nintendo Wii just weren't sexy enough.
North America gets its first M-rated WiiWare title this week in Gameloft's Sexy Poker (500 Wii points), which features six anime-flavored women stripping to their underwear if you're good enough at poker. Despite the preponderance of porn freely available on the internet, thousands of you will discuss how stupid this game is over the internet and then quietly download it, playing when no one else is looking.
There's other stuff coming this week as well, for those of you still reading this and not refreshing the Wii Shop Channel over and over. Stuff like Studio Zan's Overturn (800 Wii points), a robot-on-robot fighting game with online play and Wii Balance Board support. Or there's Art Style: precipice for DSiWare (500 DSi points), a climbing puzzle in the same vein as all of those other Art Style games we've come to enjoy so much.
I'd bet you buy Tecmo Bowl if the football players were half-naked anime women. Hmph. Official descriptions follow.
Publisher: Studio Zan Inc.
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) - Fantasy Violence
Price: 800 Wii Points™
Description: OVERTURN is a futuristic robot-versus-robot fighting game. Choose from eight different robots to pilot and master, using various close-range and long-range weapons to blast away enemies in six single-player tournaments. Unlock secret modes and up to 12 new weapons. Customize your robot's color and weapons to prepare for your next battle. Then take the action online to play in a two-player Versus battle or a four-player Battle Royale match. Search the world for Friends or other players who are online and ready for battle. Players with the optional Wii Balance Board™ can use it to control their robots by shifting their weight.
ESRB Rating: M (Mature) - Simulated Gambling, Suggestive Themes
Price: 500 Wii Points
Description: Get your pulse racing with a game of strip poker against a selection of six lovely manga-style women who may wind up in nothing but swimsuits or underwear when the final hand is dealt. Choose the classic Texas Hold'em Poker to be thrilled as the bets increase, or try the Black Jack game for a mix of chance and strategy. Discover the girls' personalities: they'll bluff you! Enter the photo gallery to see the pictures you've unlocked by playing and winning. If you're good enough, Emi, Sakura and their seductive girlfriends will bet their clothes to stay in the game.
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 600 Wii Points
Description: Released in 1987, the football game that took America by storm is back. This arcade version required a custom-made dual-screen cabinet and was popular for its large characters and intense graphics. The game is filled with great action as players take control of receivers and running backs, quickly moving the controller to break a tackle. Play alone or with up to four players in a two-on-two match. Experience the best moments of both competitive and cooperative play, finding holes in your opponent's defense, then savor the thrill of receiving a pass thrown by your teammate. In addition, game options such as play time, team division and difficulty level can be adjusted.
Art Style: precipice™
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) - Comic Mischief
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: The sky is falling in the form of cubes in the action-oriented Art Style: precipice. Watch for the telltale shadow to avoid seeing your character get crushed by a falling cube while climbing the stacked cubes to ascend to the floors above. Push, pull or shove cubes to make your climb easier. Try to gain extra points by stepping on five cubes in a row on the same floor. In addition, you'll encounter special cubes that can either be helpful or harmful to your effort. Choose from either TEN FLOORS mode, which challenges you to reach the tenth floor while scoring as many points as possible, or TOWER mode, which gives you the chance to climb as high as you can. Do you have what it takes to make it to the top, or will you be crushed?