To: Bash
From: Owen
Re: Valentine's Day

Stories on Sunday were largely of a type: Sports or sexual deviance. Sometimes that's how the news cycle coalesces. In other news, I had a weird dream last night, which probably describes, in boldface type, my subconscious anxiety of late: Dad, realizing I had no full-time job and no future, forcibly enlisted me in the Marine Corps. You know, 35 is theoretically the oldest they'll accept a new recruit, so it could happen. It also shows just how long the threat of your parents sending you to military school really lasts. But in the dream I sought out my cousin, a USNA graduate and a naval aviator, for advice on surviving the PT. "They'll probably kill you," he said. "Just drink lots of water. And try to lose some weight."

Highlights this weekend:

w4m? m4w? ... L4D ...
Get 3 Months of XBox Live from Amazon for ... $1,200!!!!
Getting Paid at GameStop: Not as Simple as it Should Be
SNL Delivers Hardcore Content to Wii
Couple Plans In-Game LittleBigPlanet Wedding
Here's Your Resident Evil 5 Pre-Order Gift

Confused about commenting on Kotaku? Read our FAQ.