Simple Ways To Kotaku Komment Better
Comment by: Pablos102030
Nominated by: kennyd1

Why can't the spammers who say first at least be more creative? Like this:

OH JOYOUS DAY! I HAPPENED TO BE THE FIRST COMMENTATOR TO STUMBLE ACROSS THIS WEB-TYPE PAGE. I SHALL NOW EXCLAIM VICTORY OVER THE INFERIOR. HUZZAH!

HMMM... WHAT'S THIS? A BANHAMMER OF EPIC POWER? WIELDED BY A LOWLY BARD? HA, FOOLS!"

Interview: EA Boss Riccitiello Aims To Win You Over
Comment by: Kanik
Nominated by: Tyber_Zann

No, he doesn't look like Darth Vader. But he does have the look of Imperial scum though!"

New Sonic Wii Game Revealed, Brings Much Needed Swordplay To Series
Comment by: AntiheroKing
Nominated by: Nirolak

True, true. Though I still think neither idea has enough merit to follow through on, the very concept of Sonic turning into a big, tough monster is aneurysm inducing. I believe the meeting must have gone something like this:

Guy 1: I've got it. Let's have Sonic turn into a werewolf. No, fuck that. A "werehog"! Haha, God damn I'm a genius.

Guy 2: ...But, why would he turn into a werewolf?

Guy 1: Werehog.

Guy 2: Uh, right. Werehog. I mean, Sonic's never had that power, not in the games, any of the animated series... Really, the closest thing is when he turns into Super Sonic.

Guy 1: Super Sonic is old news, man. I'll tell you what the fans want - GRITTY! You know how many times I heard that word in the past month alone? Everybody is making gritty games. In fact, I think we should make the game entirely shades of brown and grey!

Guy 2: You didn't answer my question, though. How are we supposed to explain why Sonic suddenly turns into a werehog?

Guy 1: What the fuck do I care? I dunno, make Dr. Robotnik use the Chaos Emeralds to curse him or something.

Guy 2: But the Chaos Emeralds never -

Guy 1: GRITTY!"

Killing Zombies With My Best Girl
Comment by: deathbunny
Nominated by: theblackgate

*clear throat* *taps microphone*

ahem.

I've got jungle FE-ver! I've got JUNgle feVER,
I've got jungle FE-ver! I've got JUNgle feVER!

Madden Soundtrack Coming to Rock Band DLC
Comment by: Len Bias Cocaine Surplus
Nominated by: Nirolak

Yeah fuck them for adding more DLC to an ever expanding list of DLC they have been adding to every week since the game came out. Worst company ever for giving us more music.

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