Things We Don't Ever Want To See At E3 Again. Ever.

E3 was a disappointment. But you knew that already. Yet do you know why it was a disappointment? Sure, there are the easy answers. Few new game announcements. Anything Nintendo said or did. But they're just that. Easy answers. There were a lot more things wrong with the show than just those limelight-grabbers. Things that we never want to see at E3 again. Ever.

Nintendo – We did have a bunch of individual Nintendo-related things in here. We don't want to see Mother's Day cards. We don't care about broken wrists. We don't ever, ever want to see anyone playing Wii Music on a stage ever again. But the list just kept going, and going, and going, so we're just going to lump them all into one category: Nintendo. Anything and everything you did at E3 this year, Nintendo, don't ever do it again.

Talky-Talky – You may have missed it if you caught it in bullet-point-form, but Sony's E3 press conference ran for an hour and a half. And what did they manage in that hour and a half? The video marketplace announcement, a God of War III trailer and MAG. The other 87 minutes was stuff we either already knew or didn't care to know. An E3 address is the time for sizzle, Sony, not slumber. We're gamers, not investors. Next time, get to the point, even if getting there only takes you 15 minutes.

Duffy – Who the hell is Duffy? We had no idea. The Googlepedia mastermind tells us she's a Welsh singer, and that she's got the biggest-selling album in the UK this year. Good for her. Pity the Microsoft press conference wasn't Top of the Pops. Don't ever do that again, Microsoft.

Tell Us, Damnit– "Oh, I'd like to ask you that", said an interviewee on more than one occasion. No. We'd like to ask you that. That's why we're here. We're the ones asking the questions, thank you very much, and we ask them to get answers.

Navel-Gazing – We get it, E3 is dead. But does the world need any more people reminding us of the fact? Talk is cheap, and worse, most of the E3 talk thus far has been cheap and selfish, based almost entirely around what a games writer thought of the event from a games writer's perspective. What about the publishers point of view? The developers? The PR teams? The mass media? Or, you know, the public's? It may well be dead, but for once, it'd be nice to first check with everyone else concerned, see what they think.

Killzone 2 – Looked good in 2005. And 2006. And 2007. And...look, we don't ever want to see it at E3 again.

Over-Excitement – Gamers are no different to any other type of consumer. They can smell bullshit marketing a mile away. So when senior company executives get up on stage like they just drank crack-laced Kool Aid, it's only going to end badly. Nintendo and Microsoft were equally guilty of this. You're grown men/women, and that's how we see you, and expect you to act. Anything otherwise will only generate suspicion. Unless you're The Cliffster. Then you get a pass.

Posts About Stuff We Never want to see at E3 again – They're kinda boring and self-serving, aren't they? You always start them with the best of intentions and they always come off looking all whiny. We never want to see, or write one, ever again.