McCain Courts the Gamer Vote — Poorly

So, one of the things you do in Washington is have lunch with people who were once friends but now go by the title "colleagues." And if you can discuss something that involves both of your jobs, you then walk down to the IRS and give 'em a big ole fanger because you get to write off the lunch. Which probably knocks 20 cents off my tax bill, but what the hell.

Yesterday, the very same thing happened. I was "lunching" with a "colleague" from my AP days, she works for CNN now, and of course she mentioned the John McCain Facebook app "Pork Invaders." In it, you maneuver your Campaign Yard Sign back and forth, firing off vetoes at the flying pigs who spend taxpayers' money and hurl heathen inverted crosses at you (it's the subtle imagery that appeals to the conservative Christian base). Complete a level and get a fun fact about the candidate. And a perpetual come-on to sign up for another Facebook app. God, I love it when with-it parents try to get hip with the kids. How is this not a top 20 app?!

Well since we're using Space Invader metaphorics for campaign issues, I've got a few questions: How do you win against this relentless pig insurgency? How exactly is victory defined, and logically, doesn't the present policy require an indefinite, if not permanent, military presence holding back the porkers? If we say we're defeating the pork invaders, then say we'll lose if we quit, how is victory possible?

Also, notice there is no sound in "Pork Invaders." Probably because, after campaigning to Call of Duty tunes, McCain learned his lesson and didn't want to piss off the Taito composer who arranged the original Space Invaders theme.



Pork Invaders
[Facebook, via Joystiq and numerous others]