Sega's official video game of the 2008 Beijing Olympics is looking pretty damn realistic, if these screenshots are any indication, but as Olympic games of the past have taught us, it isn't about the looks so much as it is the motion. I am actually willing to take that a bit farther.
There will be no successful Olympics video game until they implement realistic hurdle-based testicle damage.
As someone who has felt the painful impact of a hurdle between my legs, I can safely say that making the runners simply stumble or slow down for hitting a hurdle does not accurately represent the rigors of the sport. It's the whole reason they implemented hurdles in the first place!
The Beijing Olympics, Brought To You By Sega
4:00 PM on Fri May 16 2008
By Mike Fahey
3,111 views
40 comments
















Comments
I can't wait. I still play torino 2k6.
Yeah, those hurdles can be a doozy. What would also be awesome is, when losing, to have the choice to either punch out the bastards who beat you or lose gracefully.
Unless you have the option to juice and deny people basic civil rights, I will have to pass.
I thought we already established that it isn't hurdle based testicle damage, but rather Mario and Sonic that sell Olympics games.
Let's not bring up groin related track injuries before I need to go through more therapy.
ummm hurtle in the groin? Nothing.
Here's what's terrible. See that screenshot of pole vault? Well imagine that when the pole is bent like that, it snaps back, smashing poor johnny to bits. Yes true story.
Still love the sport, and it looks good too. But I'm glad I can have children again, well if I come of age...
@Nirolak: Well, it IS Sega, so I am sure that Sonic is unlockable somehow...
I absolutely loved running hurdles in high school, because of the brief thrill I got each time I jumped, not knowing for sure whether or not I would fall flat on my face. The idea of testicular damage never actually occurred to me.
Now, I see that I'm one of the lucky ones. Thank you for enlightening me as to just how blessed I truly am, Mr. Fahey.
Hey, Sega's still the only company in the last 15 years to make a fun track & field game (DecAthlete). Maybe this has a shot.
Not for the easily squeamish:
+ Watch video
"testicle damage" is not very high up on my list of favorite phrases.
Will take great glee in boycotting the Olympics this year. =)
Also, get Epyx to make this!
I remember smoking no fewer than 3 NES controllers playing Track and Field and Track and Field II... I'll be damned if I'll ever do it again!
Not enough Mario and Sonic.
Oh cool, Sega is doing this? Awesome.....
....wait is this 1993?
No?
Oh...geeze, nevermind.
For some reason, in my head I see these borderline realistic human representations in my head using very few animation frames, a la PIT FIGHTER. That just made this game so hilariously awesome that I am afraid to see it in motion, thus shattering the only thing I enjoyed about it.
Oh Fahey, you're not doing it right.
Lead with your chosen leg. Kick into the hurdle, extending your leg at the top bit. If you're too short, you'll kick into it, knock it over. Too high, there's no problem.
My teacher actually spent about an hour making me deliberately hit the top of the hurdle. If you're kicking them, and they knock over fine (straight), you're doing it right.
Now, you work out how many long strides you can take to the hurdle. Now run it. Stop before actually reaching it. Get that rhythm right, and now try running at it, kicking forward with the lead leg.
Now for the testicle bit. You've got to lift your following leg, ideally 90 degrees to your body, or parallel to the top of the hurdle. If you've jumped about a metre before the hurdle, the lead leg has kicked out as in practice, then the follow leg should whip over nicely, providing you've got enough momentum.
And no crushed testicles!
I was Lancashire under 15's 110m hurdling champion once. My finest sporting achievement...
(And tapping A and B quickly does NOT a simulation make).
Sweet! Can we go outside and watch the Chinese military killing homeless people to get them out of the way for the Olympics? Or is there a bonus level where you get to run through the places where they've been killing and incinerating hundreds of stray cats? oh oh oh, can we go to Nepal and kill unarmed monks?!
That's nice... but where's the Sonic?
Didn't we already have Mario and Sonic at Olympic Games? Guess that wasn't enough....
I've always been a sucker for Olympics games.
I still have genesis cartridges for '92 Barcelona, '94 Lillehammer, and '96 Atlanta games.
I never crushed the boys in either 110m or the 200m hurdles although I did slip a disc in my back during a rather awkward high jump landing
Just something i noticed...
In the last screenshot... there are some flags on the background. The last one to the right is brazil's flag. And... IT'S UPSIDE DOWN!!!
Please, SEGA... notice it too!
@jisf0rjosh: Ouch... are you having a hard time sleeping at nights (back pains)?
Is it going to be button mashing? what are they doing about controllers?
I want a put out the torch minigame.
you cant loose at olympic games, except mario and sonic at the olympics...
if it is anything like the winter games back a couple editions, it really was not that great where your one guy competed in every event.
I should of added in, I am only purchasing this game if they include the 15mile fast walk.
or 20mile marathon.
@dynosaulo: Ha, good call. I guess it can be hard to tell with a flag like that, since the stripe is the only thing that might immediately clue a person in that it's upside down...but still pretty damn bad for a company to do that.
@AvidAbey:
I don't even see the Brazilian flag the often and the mistake is blatantly obvious. OTHER flags might be upside down if they made THAT mistake! Is that Poland's flag or Monaco's? No one knows, ooooo!
As a former hurdler, I just want to mention that it's not easy to hurt yourself in that area when jumping hurdles. I hurt my knee a lot more than anything else, but was never worried about my testes.
I suppose if some random person decided to just start jumping over them for fun, the risk is a lot greater.
@otakucode
You're an idiot, Nepal isn't even in China. Way to try to sound socially conscious and fail miserably.
Sega making many headlines recently.. I wonder if they are planning something secretly.
@Mr.SithNinja: Like what you Americans are doing to "terror suspects" in Gitmo and Abu-Ghraib?
@otakucode: Since when did the Chinese military started killing random homeless people and "Nepalese monks"? Nepal isn't even in China, and get off your FOX News. I'm sick of people like you who associate everything relating to China with human rights while turning a blind eye the the rights violations committed by the US government and it's allies *cough* Saudi Arabia *cough*.
Athlete kings 2k8 pleaaaaaase sega.
astrixzero this isnt a poltical forum. sticking up for communist lol
@otakucode: I was waiting for that to come up, as alternate-universe as it is. You called it!
I'll be getting this for the Kill Capitalism mini game ^_^
But in all seriousness, people get their panties in such a bunch over Tibet.
Sort out Guantanamo, or don't say anything <____<
Do we get to attack the protesters? The ones who protest for dumb (IMO) reasons?
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