Can we please have a "Uwe Boll vs." segment every week?

The Phantom is a great movie. Along with the Shadow and the Rocketeer it pretty much was my childhood.
On another note, what is there not to love about Billy Zane? I'll tell you what, nothing.

So, Billy Zane recommends that Uwe Boll tries this fab new sushi place. Uwe gets food poisoning and blames ... Billy Zane. Virtually the same thing. Because, after all, Billy was preparing the sushi.

Mmm, analogy. Now I want sushi.

Oh, and fuck Uwe Boll.

God I really do hate that guy, he just needs to do wha everyone wants and give up.

@Fallible: don't forget Batman and Batman Returns

Maybe Uwe should sue the person he sees in the mirror, and not an actor. After all, I think the person making the movie is at fault, not the actor who has to act in such a horrible movie.

@nyaz: Who could? Batman pretty much changed my life.

Uwe Boll needs to make more movies... for me to poop on. Without Uwe Boll movies we won't have any movies to compare to bad movies to :(

In a semi-related note Bloodrayne is making its debut in Europe this month! At long last! Straight-to-dvd of course but the drunken-bad-movie-gagfest I've been planning for months (years? made in 2005!) can finally happen! :-D

Listen to Billy Zane, he's trying to help you out!

I remember watching the Phantom in theatres, but I also remember the whole time my mom and sister were making cat calls at the screen when he was in the purple tights. I'm scared for life.

On another note, I know in the Ring Uwe Boll would kill Mike Bay, various nerds and critics... But could the might of Uwe Boll stand against the Phantom and his uber ring? I mean Treat Williams couldnt and he is a friggin bad ass.

@tralfaz23: Just keep watching M. Bay movies.

Its essentially the same as Uwe movies, except +100 million dollars worth of explosions.

I takes a certain level of Fail to start failing before the movie is finished. This perticular Fail is now an EPIC FAIL! Way to raise the bar!

@Mr.SithNinja: on second thought the movie started failing the second Uwe was signed.....

@ResetSmith: Not that I like Uwe Boll and am defending him, but I am a fan of reading comprehension.

"...Boll claims that $900,000 of that $10 million advance went to Billy Zane and Romar principal James Schramm..."

That's why he's suing Zane.

Unless that wasn't sarcasm in your post and were being serious. Then disregard this comment.

@globones: Yes, please.

Although, if Boll's claims about the movie are true, badness aside Zane does owe the man money. And the more money Boll has, the more movies he can make! I'm rooting for you, Uwe!

Phantom vs Boll, only on Pay-Per-View.

Boll gets knocked out in round 2.

The world + Billy Zane + Derek Zoolander on your ass. Wow. The next we see Uwe, it'll be in a Witness-style biopic.

Does anyone else remember when Boll tried arguing that Bloodrayne was an immense success because of its mythical DVD sales?

Damn that's good crow.

I highly doubt billy zane is up to it,he's a really good guy and doesnt need the money.It seems to me that uwe boll is just a worthless loser that cant make one good movie.

You should listen to Billy Zane, he's a cool dude.

@Fyren: yeah, but those movies are "awesome" :D

and there are at least some things cool about his movies

Billy Zane was badass in the Tales From the Crypt movie....let's not forget that.

Can you actually sue someone for bad advice? Can you sue them for being a lousy employee?

If Boll can sue Billy Zane for this, we should be able to sue Boll for crimes against humanity, invade his country, then walk around for a while not knowing what to do next.

@ChimDeathmonkey: Demon Knight is the greatest horror movie of all time.

@sloner: If they willingly lose you money, then yes.

yeah i really dont know who is worse billy zane or uwe boll...they are both pretty lame.

oh and the only way that the phantom would have been good is if they went with they went with there original casting of Bruce Campbell as the Phantom.

Man, I dislike the arrogant dubiously-talented jerk as much as the next guy, but seriously!

@TheAbsoluteJay:

Yay, someone else can read and I'm not just going crazy.

[Insert Film-maker here] paid [obscenely large sum of money] to promotions company who then failed to uphold their side of the deal. [Film-maker] discovers that man who persuaded him to sign dodgy deal got paid [serious wad of cash] as part of said deal.

If it were anyone but Uwe Boll, people would feel sorry for him; if it were Miyamoto or Kojima or whoever making their first movie and getting ripped off, I have little doubt this comment thread would be baying for Billy Zane's blood.

Also:
"If Boll's claims holds true, this would mean he began losing money on Bloodrayne before the movie was even released"

- a lot of movies rake in huge piles of cash but don't officially break even; look at the difference in worth between gross percentage points and net percentage points in a movie's profits. It's often-as-not an accounting convenience to save the studio paying out to people; in this case it looks like a legal convenience to enable Boll to bring the case against this guy who's wronged him.

But really, they start paying people before the movie opens and they don't get money back until after the movie opens, so really every film loses money before it even gets released. ;-)

@TheAbsoluteJay: Suggesting a company isn't willingly losing his money, and I can't imagine a verbal promise for a specific number of openings counts for much. I have no doubt Romar tried to convince theaters to use BloodRayne, but were I running one it would have been a hard sell.

This is just another example of how Uwe Boll cannot admit that his movies suck, and reasons out that they're all failures in every possible way by blaming it on others.

I agree with ResetSmith, he didn't have to take the offer to sign with this company, it was a suggestion not an ultimatum. If Zane had went "Sign with this company or I leave" (Which honestly even for Zane would have been a wise career move) I can see that as being a case, but otherwise it's "Hey why not sign with this company?".

@Tesahli: Okay. One more time. Billy Zane took money in association with the signing to the company.

@TheAbsoluteJay:

From what I see in the article, it's just Uwe Boll CLAIMING that Billy Zane took money from the company. Which considering that he also claims that his movies are the best things since Citizen Kane, and we're all just too stupid to understand them, and all the critics are out to get him, his accusations don't mean much.

Am I missing some other sources proving Billy Zane took money to trick Boll into a bogus deal?

Thank you Billy Zane! I think he was just trying to block another of Boll's movies, If he can pull it off, he deserves the whole 10 million...

@sloner: Lousy employee, depends on your definition of "lousy".

Oh, and he's not suing over that. Apparently he's suing because Zane profited from the deal, which apparently was not fulfilled correctly.

@MasterSauce:

It's a Walk Off!!

@Tesahli: No, but I am simply reading what the article says and that he has perfectly reasonable pretense to sue him. It doesn't matter if the movie was shit to begin with because how "good" a movie is can't really be proven scientifically, it's art.

Box office sales do not mean a movie is good. Apparently Spider-Man 3 sucked, but it put butts in seats.

Especially if you consider the kind of release a movie gets. He was promised 2,000 screens, he got 950. He got screwed, and payed Billy Zane and that company to screw him, or at least that's what it sounds like so far.

He took the offer because that company claimed they could help him for a nominal advance and they had a good word from a seemingly reliable source (Zane).

I'm reserving final judgment until all is said and done. I'm simply defending Boll's right to sue a guy for screwing him, even if his movies do totally suck.

@Tesahli: Yes I hope the judge in the case uses the same logic. "Well if it's not on the internet it can't be true! Case dismissed!"
Seriously he bigs up his movies so he's a liar when "apparently" Zane swindled him? Lets just leave it to the courts and cut the slander.

@TheAbsoluteJay: Whoops, can I use the "s" word in here?

I agree that Billy Zane should take some responsibility for this, though. Bloodrayne is what? The second Titanic he's been involved with?

@TheAbsoluteJay: Well I was just talking about that there's nothing actually saying that Zane definitely took money from the company to sell Boll on a bogus deal. Everything that says "Zane got paid 900,000 of the money" is either preceded or followed by "Boll claims".
So as far as I can see, there's no proof that Zane took money on the bogus deal, just Boll firing in all directions. I imagine he has all the right to sue the company that promised something and didn't deliver, but I don't see any evidence or right to sue Zane besides that he made a bad suggestion.

Billy Zane dates Kelley Brook. For that, he is a God!

@NunianVonFuch: Well I wasn't trying to claim that. I was just saying that as far as I can tell, there's no evidence that Zane took any money from the distribution company, and unless the Court pulls up some evidence, than I don't see any more validity to Boll's claims than, like ResetSmith said, me suing my friend for suggesting a Sushi restaurant that I later get food poisoning from.

If the court pulls up some evidence that says "Zane definitely recieved part of this compensation paid to Romar Ent. to convince Boll to take a bogus deal" Then yeah, sue the hell out of him Boll, I don't care. But otherwise, it seems like he's blaming him for his own bad gamble on taking Zane's advice and going with this company.

Wow. Uwe Boll will do anything for attention. Next he'll hire that Westboro anti-gay cult to protest his movie.

@Tesahli: Of course there's no proof in the article.

Thank you for illustrating that when suing someone, you are just "claiming" that they've wronged you.

From what the article states, he gave the head of the distributor and Zane to promote and distribute the film. From data I found, it was released, at widest it was in 985 theaters. They allegedly "promised" 2,000.

If Zane received money in association with the deal, and the deal was not performed as agreed upon, he can, and should be, held accountable.

@Tesahli: That analogy sucks.

It would work better if it went like this:

"That would be like me suing my friend telling me about this sushi place that will give me huge portions for a decent price. Then I get there and find that not only were the portions not that great for the price, but I also got food poisoning. then they pay my friend for bringing me there."

@TheAbsoluteJay: "If Zane received money in association with the deal, and the deal was not performed as agreed upon, he can, and should be, held accountable."

I can see that. I'm just wondering if Zane actually received any money on it. As far as I can see, the only thing that suggests it right now is Boll's word, so maybe they'll pull up some evidence in court, if they don't I would hope that Zane could counter-sue Boll for pointless legal fees for his baseless accusations.

I don't think we're actually disagreeing on anything here, just different interpretations of

"Boll claims that $900,000 of that $10 million advance went to Billy Zane and Romar principal James Schramm."

I see it as Boll claiming that the advance was used by Romar to pay the principle and Zane, he doesn't know for sure, he just thinks that's what happened. In which case, it sounds like Boll is just blaming Zane for his bad decision, and unless they dig up some evidence he's got no case.

I think you're seeing it that Boll knew that 900,000 of that advance was intended to pay Zane and the Principal. In which case if he can pull up some receipts or something (which he should probably have) to prove that, he'd probably have a good case.

@Tesahli: It just seemed that you were just hating on Boll defending Zane too heavily.

I'm just saying that we all know(or at least I know) that Boll has to cough up the evidence.

I'm merely defending his right to make such allegations based on the fact that the movie did not do well and could have potentially done better had it been in all 2,000 of the allegedly promised theaters.

I hope Boll wins this one. He needs the money to do his film adaptation of Wii Sports.

@TheAbsoluteJay: "I'm merely defending his right to make such allegations based on the fact that the movie did not do well and could have potentially done better had it been in all 2,000 of the allegedly promised theaters."

No I can agree with that entirely, I think he should go after Romar Entertainment for not filling their part of the deal. I'm just wondering if Zane really has any part in this besides giving a bad suggestion. If he goes to court, that'll be one of the things that'll have to be dug up and proven.

@globones: I agree with this request.

Next week Boll vs. JT!

Let the punches fly!

@battra92: Boll better watch out for Michael Bay's Wii Play movie. It's going to have a huge special effects budget for the explosions in the Tanks game.