Kotaku
Time for a Frankenreviewreview. Let me explain. Mark has his Frankenreview feature running like a well-oiled machine. Mike's GTA IV write-up is the only review of the game this site's ever going to need to write. So this isn't an exercise in reviewing GTA IV. Or in comparing the reviews of GTA IV. It's an exercise in reviewing the reviews of GTA IV. Or, to be more precise, the hyperbole. Because when a game gets 10/10, 100/100 and five stars across the board, you've gotta do something to break up the monotony, right?
Most major sites are accounted for: IGN, 1UP, Eurogamer...even CVG and Game Informer and have their takes on the game up and published (only GameSpot are missing...maybe their allocated reviewer quit?). All have scored the game between 95-100%. All are hyped about the game. But which is most hyped? Their scores cannot separate them, so let's take a look at their words.
IGN
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: The first review, and at seven pages, the most tedious.
Moment Of Climax: "A "10" is not a score we give out very often. In fact, the last time we gave a 10 to a console game was Soul Calibur in 1999. A 10 doesn't mean a game is perfect — it means a game is pushing boundaries, expanding a genre, and doing many things to a level so far above and beyond its competitors that they overshadows any flaws. Certainly, GTA IV has some issues, the most noticeable being the occasional flaw in the cover system, but there are many more pieces of GTA IV that are better than anything I've seen from a game in the past decade. We don't give 10s often — just to games that merit the score."
My Score: Four knickers twisted out of a possible five. Banging on for seven pages would normally get you a perfect 5, but a costly cop-out at the end, with ass-covering justifications for their scoring system, cost them a knicker.
1UP
Their Score: A+
Notes: Nice, tight review. Covers all the bases.
Moment of Climax: "Fresh off the boat, [Niko's] an illegal immigrant pursuing the dual American dreams of quick money and mass multimedia consumption in the most vibrant, dynamic, and entertainment-packed playground in console videogame history: Liberty City."
My Score: Two twisted knickers out of five. That pasted line above aside, Crispin Boyer's review is - tragically for these purposes - fair and objective, calling out several of the game's flaws, and even closing off with [gasp] a suggestion to Rockstar on how they could improve the thing.
Eurogamer
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: Exhibits the usual Eurogamer restraint, but I can't remember the last time a Eurogamer review ran to four pages. OK, three pages. Sorry Eurogamer!
Moment of Climax: "Almost everything you do in Liberty City would be good enough to drive its own game, and the best parts would be good enough to outrun the competition, but the reason it works so well is that Rockstar has made a game that requires no patience to play. This, as much as its usual coherency and the best script in the series, is what makes GTA IV the best openworld game yet, and why it will take something miraculous to rob it of game of the year status."
My Score: 3 twisted knickers. As I said, it's Eurogamer, so OMG BEST GAME EVAR!!!! was never going to be on the cards. Would have scored it a 2, but hedging bets on GOTY in April earned them an extra pair of entangled lady's drawers.
CVG
Their Score: 9.5/10
Notes: An imperfect score? Something's wrong here...
Moment of Climax: "Should we judge the biggest game of the year as just that, a videogame, and pick holes in its evolution-not-revolution systems which don't exactly re-write the rules? Or should we look at GTA IV as a pure experience, where it wipes the floor with anything else on Xbox 360 and PS3?"
My Score: 2 knickers twisted out of a possible 5. They lose two just for giving it an imperfect score (the cheek of them!) Excitement takes a back seat to caution, as the CVG reviewer flirts between gushing over the experience and picking holes with the gameplay.
Kotaku
Their (well...our) Score: N/A
Notes: Mike plays GTA IV. Mike reviews GTA IV.
Moment of Climax: "Sandbox-style, ultra-violent games like Grand Theft Auto aren't typically my thing, but GTA IV has made me a fan. A fanboy. Rockstar North has addressed virtually every single one of my personal hang ups about the series, crafting one of the most memorable experiences in gaming. We hate to gush, but it's just that good. Flawless? No. But it's about as close to a game can come to being perfect."
My Score: 3.5/5. Misses out on a higher score because we don't do scores. And because flaws are clearly identified. And that I know he's telling the truth when he says that previously, he wasn't a fanboy.
GamePro
Their Score: 5/5
Notes: Before reading this, I thought Rockstar to be but men. Now I see they are Gods.
Moment of Climax: "GTA IV isn't just a game. It's a testament to the immense talent and take-no-prisoners mentality that has made Rockstar the company that it is today."
My Score: 4/5. A 1.5 page-long love letter to Rockstar is the highlight. The fact all game faults are condensed to half a paragraph on the fifth page also contributes to a great score.
GameSpy
Their Score: 5/5
Notes: Odd. I could have sworn some of the most poorly-written sections of IGN's original review (the one up now reads a little differently to the one first posted) have found themselves cut-n-pasted into this one...
Moment of Climax: "It's not a stretch to say that, were this a film, some of the "performances" would be Oscar-worthy. Yes, we're aware that the characters aren't real people, but they are still better actors than many of the people in the yearly crop of summer blockbusters."
My Score: 4/5 twisted knickers. And they're all just for that comment.
Game Informer
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: Probably the best of the lot. And by "best" I mean MOST EXCITED.
Moment of Climax: "Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't just raise the bar for the storied franchise; it completely changes the landscape of gaming. Once you play it, you won't look at video games the same way again."
My Score: 5/5. No, 6/5. It opens with "I now know how film critics felt after screening The Godfather". A perfect storm of hype, excitement and pants-wetting. Best review of the lot. No, best review ever.
Comments
"GTA IV isn't just a game. It's a testament to the immense talent and take-no-prisoners mentality that has made Rockstar the company that it is today."
Good to see there are still people out here that can create something fresh, and avoid the mob mentality :]
Thanks for the early morning laughs!
Too bad im not a GTA fan, not my "cup o tea". I just cant get into those games :/.
I can't follow your knicker scoring system, but it's nice to see a writeup on what everybody's saying about the game.
Looking forward to the game. Anyone think this would have gotten a perfect score if say it was named something else?
Good stuff. In a few hours I'll be able to make my own outlandish claims as well. I'll try and work Jesus into my quote though because that always goes over well.
"GTA IV's main achievement is making you feel like a man whilst playing it... a man whose balls are being gently cupped"
- 10/10 BallCuppingGamers.com
"Their scores cannot separate them, so let's take a look at their words."
Isn't it the case that you should always judge a game by what is said rather than the number at the end?
Yeesh. I'm probably going to enjoy GTA IV, don't get me wrong. But these reviews are getting nuts. From now on, are all major releases going to be scored on a 9-10 decimal scale? What's the point?
I'm interested to see X-play's review. They gave Vice City three out of five...the score it deserved, but it put the internet into an uproar. Assuming the show retained some editors from those days, their review will represent the "real" one.
This game is going to save the economy! Or at least help "stimulate" it.
driving controls are weird to get used to at first, first car handles really bad
@Trystero: why would the "real" review be the worst one? What about the small sites (X-play) that go for controversy?
@kitkatu:
Actually, you should judge it by how it plays. Take Shadowrun for instance. Reviewers universally trashed it because it didn't have a single player campaign, but it is one of the best FPS games around.
@Trystero: I see nothing more "real" about that than any other site's review. No review is official - each one is an individual person's opinion.
Why are the user scores so low? Looks like not everybody thinks it is a masterpiece...
And we will see what Zero Punctuation has to say.
Seven pages asside (that tends to be their lgenth for featured reviews), I have to say I agree with their feelings regarding "perfect" scores.
@that_happy_cat: X-Play goes for controversy? Is that because they gave Crisis Core a 2/5?
I laugh at the hyperbole, yet I'm still seriously considering picking up a copy at the midnight launch tonight. Guess it's a testament to the strength of the hype that I want to check it out for myself that badly, despite knowing it's not going to live up to it.
@KroKan: Because any jackhole can come allong and give it a one. No one besides the press has played the game yet.
@Earthslide: Probably not. Lost Odyssey is pretty much a Final Fantasy game and it averaged 70s, mostly because of the "oldschool battle system." (gasp...if turn based is old school then I don't want to go any further in time.)
Names carry games. Mario Soccer, Tennis and Basketball would be nothing without him.
The hype has much to do with the score, I think. But I also think it is obviously deserving of the score, anyhow.
I found the Game Informer review the most ridiculous. Small section for problems, big section for gushing compliments to the makers? This doesn't belong in the review.
Thanks for looking at content and putting scores aside. It's not done nearly enough. Kotaku ftw.
@robinandtami: Absolutely. Shadowrun was amazing and it get hounded on bad because it lacked a single player campaign. It was truly innovative and exclusively in my 360 for months and months.
I don't know if it's the hype speaking or what, but i am SOOOOOO stoked to play this game ASAP!!!!
@karasu is my homeboy: ahh...my post should say "game pro review most ridiculous"
All these magazines names are to similar :/
This was a great idea for an article, nice work Luke.
Riding the hype machine is kind of lame.
Metacritic wise, there are only 16 reviews out, and there are going to be about 60 by the time everyone is done reviewing it.
@spaz33: Thats the review I'm waiting for, although I have a bad feeling he's going to have to go to GAMETRADERS ROBINA for an import copy because Australia has the censored version.
@Trystero:
I thought X-Play gave EVERY game 3/5.
I am sooo hyped for this game now. But I am worried that these scores are hyped it up a little bit too much. I mean in the past couple years Twilight Princess, Halo 3 all getting perfect scores by some of these sites makes me a little hesitant. Not that these games are bad. No they are in fact great, but like this article points out I am talking about "Oscar worthy performances" and "You won't look at videogames the same way again". But then again this is comparing scores. Not reviews. Halo 3 and Twilight never got those comments, so maybe it really is something special. That story better be damn good. I'm gonna lower my anticipation a little bit though. I am not expecting the next Legend of Zelda, FF, Metal Gear Solid, or GTAIII. And if I do get that then whoopee!
I haven't played the game yet, but I'm curious whether any reviewer's going to have the balls to mention the elephant in the room and address Niko's rather awful fake accent.
Perhaps the short clips I've seen and heard give a false impression.
@Salen:
lol @ gametrader robina
Thanks for the roundup, Luke. And, in particular, thanks for the humour: I'm not sure I could have read those reviews in their entirety and seriousness without ending up hating the game before I'd even got my hands on it.
Why do I feel like those reviews are going to sound unbelievably ridiculous five years from now?
Oh, well, I'm sure the game will great anyway, since it doesn't sound as "adolescent" as San Andreas, which I enjoyed for about 3-4 hours until it dawned on me how profoundly dumb and occasionally tedious it was.
Apparently, that's not going to be a problem with GTAIV, which seems to be the first truly adult game in the series. Caring about characters in a GTA game? Who would've thunk it possible?
"GTAIV will redefine your relationships in real life. Your parents will be there for you, their sympathies never wavering, their check books always eager to help, your girlfriend (or boyfriend) will start doing things in bed she (he) previously said they would never try, your dog that ran away will come back home and your dead cat will be resurrected, because GTAIV is like Jesus - it can perform miracles. I don't throw the word Messiah around loosely, but this game just might be one."
11/10
sarcasticgamer.com
"Once you play it, you won't look at video games the same way again"
Good grief, I hate hyperbole like that, especially when you know they'll be saying the exact same thing about "the next big thing".
@spaz33:
Oh yes. Can't wait for Yahtzee.
has any one played the Operation Darkness DEMO on XBL?
@sh0tgunn0strils: Wait... there's a Demo out of that out now?!? ACK! I gotta go download that!
>3.5/5. Misses out on a higher score because we don't do scores.
Ha!
thinking this game will be completely gratuitous,senseless and immoral is a no brainer. it's what has always made the entire series so sucessful and fun to play.
GTAIV promises to be nothing short of being completely amazing. I'm looking forward to the first couple of hours i'll spend just jacking cars and sight seeing all that the revamped LC has to offer. cannot wait.
Unless the hyperbole is correct which, for my money, it looks like it might be. I guess I'll know in 20 hours!
How is the metacritic average user vote only 8.1!? Is someone bitter or something?
I completely agree about the IGN review. SEVEN PAGES is riddiculous for any game.
It's a review...not a novel. Yeah, they got to be first, congrats...but don't spend 7 pages kissing the game's butt.
Give it the 10, tell us why, and be on your way.
"A perfect storm of hype, excitement and pants-wetting. Best review of the lot. No, best review ever."
Haha... Very nice. ^^
Bah, it's no Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
@vanderblade: Now that's a review!
@sh0tgunn0strils: Thanks for the info, I didn't know there was a demo! Going to DL right away.
@KindaGamey: I'll bet the critics' average will go down, too, once the "I'm an independent reviewer assessing my independent independency" backlash starts.
Haha, love it.
In related news, my copy is currently traveling through the postal service, according to what could possibly be the best e-mail ever. :D
There are no bicycles??? Why? I can't believe what is Rockstar doing to us. I 'm going to start petition. One for bicycle and one for jet-pack.
@Sinharvest: same here... Playing as a russian gangster doing gangter deeds just ain't my game.
I think we need a review of this review of reviews. I give it a 4/5 panties in a bunch.
Is anyone else really amazed at how great the reviews are for this game? This is the first game to ever get a perfect Metascore, right? That's so badass. Makes me want to go out and buy the 90 dollar version.
@Agies: The game's been leaked on Torrent's for at least a week now.
That was the big GTAIV story last week, up until the first reviews trickled in.
@Captain Impulse: dunno... is that bad? ;) No seriously, i don't know. What's Crisis Core?
Kudos to all the hardworking people that made the game.
Just think... if there was a Nintendo character in there somewhere we would have seen our first 11/10 score.
Nice feature, thank you Kotaku!
Looking and the words in the reviews and not the scores themselves????
That is blasphemy!!!
@Jabbertrack:
LOL so true ...
@karasu is my homeboy: "Names carry games. Mario Soccer, Tennis and Basketball would be nothing without him."
While it's true that the name on the box can pre-determine a review, it's not always for the best.
KOEI's Warriors series (a "yearly patchfest") as I've heard them called, routinely get docked major points for being the same game with only minor tweaks.
Yet you get games such as Madden, and those games are adorded for "sticking to the formula" that has worked for so long.
I think some of the Mario sports games get pigeon-holed into this type of situation as well.
That's why at the end of the day the content of the review is far more important, which is why massive novel-type reviews such as IGN's are less than helpful...and those such as GameSpot's that essentially gloss over any problems (or bury them on the 5th page, where most sane people have stopped reading by the 2nd) fail on every level.
@Johnny_Under: They actually gave the horse riding sim, Assassin's Creed, a 5/5. Unless they give GTA IV around a 8 or 9 out of 5, they're basically admitting their reviews are worthless.
@robinandtami: Playing every game before buying them would be great if i could afford to do so, but i can't so reviews are important to me. In that respect i was only saying that a score means next to nothing in comparison to the positive and negative aspects the reviewer gives.
they should just use the Feedback system for games to stay true without any biase.
Great Game, Smooth gameplay, Excellent controls, would play again. A++