Dear Uwe Bolle:

I am a wealthy king of a middle eastern country. While researching my family tree, I learned that you are my cousin. Because of this, it is my duty to share a portion of my fortunes with you. All I need is your bank account number and I will transfer some funds to your account.

Sincerely,

ceilingFANBOY

I'd see a movie about his life. I'd love to see how he convinces people to finance his movies, it's always been a mystery to me.

Poor guy.

Guess Germany has its own version of 'two random black guys' too. Of course it was the french, Uwe! I heard they're *all* crafty con artists, cant trust any of em.

Seriously dude. Some guys show up at your office, give you a script and you just start running around saying things without asking any questions?

...hm. With his track record, it kind of sounds believable. He certainly seems that stupid.

@male roof blower (CFB): haha, win.

wait, these werent the same french guys who did that Philanthropy MGS fan film, were they? that'd be funny.

i think the biggest error he made was saying "i CAN do that"...

I call him Ew Ball

@male roof blower (CFB):

Alas I can only click the plus button beside your name once.

@HawaiianActor:
Lol true.

"And.. uh.. they came on a rocketship, with SS officers carrying Koala bears"

Must suck to be burned by a bunch of french people eh Mr.Boll?

Dude, you're a genius! It would be something like Forrest Gump with videogames and cursing!

Not as absurd as hearing that Sonic was going to appear in Smash Bros! Now that is really absurd...

Dude.. if someone wants you to make a Metal Gear movie... it'll be Kojima. In your face.

PS: Omlette du fromage

Nobody needed to con you Uwe. You should have already known it was false, because you didn't feel the chill from hell freezing over.

Y'know...he reminds me a lot of George W. Bush. He really does think that people respect him and that he's doing some good in the world via his movies. It's like they can't see past their noses and realize that damn near NOBODY likes them, or their work.

Well, I guess ignorance really IS bliss.

@MetaKz:

If it didn't work on Dexters lab door, it wont work here.

I keep picturing a Uwe Boll biopic would be rather exciting. Especially if we let him direct it himself. We could see him punch through walls and rip Michael Bays head off with a death punch. Or maybe lasers from his fingers. Who knows... based on a true story, right?

Now I'm thinking of Revolver Ocelot and his hatred for Frenchmen.

OH GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

Wow, those guys went through WAY too much trouble to con Uwe... seriously, I've conned the man 4 TIMES in the last 2 years... it's so incredibly easy.

I mean, really - all you have to do is email the guy, tell him you're a wealthy Hollywood exec looking to fund his next video game movie, and tell him you have a low-budget writer ready to work for him.

It's THAT easy...

@Komrade_Kayce: If you so please, you can click the minus to remove me from the follow list just so you can have the satisfaction of adding me again.

@Komrade_Kayce: Uwe Boll is a cookie!

Eh bien?

Haha, I'm almost gonna start feeling sad for the poor guy, it's like everyone is against him... wait... phew, sorry, I just remembered a scene of Alone in the Dark, yeah, no, thank you fellow Frenchmen, WTG !

PS: Omelette au Fromage, merci.

@Komrade_Kayce: Exactly. In trying to defend himself, he just came out looking like an even bigger idiot.

Or a twisted evil genius! The world may never know.

He liked the MGS script.

Hahaha this guy is such a bastard!

I love you Uwe Boll.

A couple of french guys stole my car the other night.

@Rob: but he's a money making bastard.....

:/

HA! uwe defeated by the french, is there nothing worse? Perhaps being uwe himself?

The funny thing is the scrip could have actually been good and they were ready to let Uwe ruin it.

Wow, as much as I hate that guy, I kind of feel bad for him. I mean, it wasn't his fault really. He could of checked sources first, but other than that, it must of seemed legit. Can't blame him for wanting to make another movie, that petition is getting pretty big.

That's a new low for Uwe.

Someday someone is going to write a brilliant biography for this man capturing all the crazy nuances that make him so fascinating and his bizarre life.

He will then acquire the film rights... And ruin it.

there is supposed to be a metal gear movie, david hayter (voice of solid snake) was considered but turned down for it... the movie i think is listed on wikipedia under hideo kojima...

If a metal gear movie comes out its made by Hideo himself and not uwe boll, mr boll will ruin my love for metal gear...

@Word Man: Yes, there is George W. Bush.

@Spenze

You can find all about it, just search him on wikipedia. It's actually legit. Sadly.

Haha I just watched his last chef d'oeuvre: "In the name of the king" earlier tonight. The thing is, there was about as much content about Dungeon Siege in that movie as there is in Lord of the Rings. Which is pretty much what the movie is based/ripped from.

But man was it funny as hell... "Yarrr! We're evil creatures so we march in mud completely disorganized while puching weird siege engine!" Oh and these said siege engines are the only "siege" you'll find in there. As for the very important part of "dungeon", be assured to know that there is a castle somewhere at some point.

Wow...there seem to be a lot of George Bush fans here tonight. Just can't stop talking about him can they?
I always like to keep my politics sepparate from my videogame discussions, helps keep things polite...

...and on topic.

please, no-one. AND I MEAN NO-ONE make a Metal Gear Movie.

It can't be done. or rather it can but it will never live up to the games. The stories are ridiculous, insane. I love MGS with all my heart. My favorite VG of all time. It is not a story for the masses though. Can it, make it end. Never film it. Please.

@WhaleMenace: I believe that as long as Hideo is involved it will prove to be awesome, but you may be right as well

CURSE YOU FRANCE!

OK seriously.. I'm tired of seeing Uwe Boll giving me the finger. I'm totally going to block that image forever.

Two french guys huh? Were they Moi and Moi?
Yeah, I knew it.

Poor guy. I like you Uwe, you're a fun guy. Just stay away from the good videogames and you're alright in my book.

His audio commentary for Alone in the Dark is hilarious!

"Tara Reid looks really intelligent with the eye glass... I hope." -laughs-

I'd like to see Uwe Boll - The Movie, in the style of a 1930s screwball comedy.

I did a project for university on the subject of Uwe Boll last year.

I have never been game enough to check what mark I got for it.

@Pinhead: I second this notion and would pay money to see 90 minute flick on Uwe. No, I am not being sarcastic and it isn't opposite day.

Love him or hate him, he has more personality than most of the public-figure-drones out there and I commend that.

lmao fantastic stpry ^^

i bet those two frnch guys just wanted a good laugh :D

Uwe Boll is Ed Wood for the twenty first century.
Oh, and most French guys could kick Y'all's asses.
I know You all talk smack about them on the interwebs, but trust me, come to France and try some of that shit, the reaming you'd get would make what just happened to Uwe look like free oral sex.

I would like to see someone make a Metal Gear Game. MGS2, MGS3 and MGS4 are all movies, not games.

Also it's time we all put Uwe Boll in perspective. Yes, the vast majority of his films are complete shite. However the likes of Paul W.S. Anderson and Michael Bay are incapable of making any good movies, wether they are based on games or not.

Take Alone in the Dark, rubbish film. I can honestly say, hand on heart it was far better than the likes of Transformers or Mortal Kombat.

Please Kotaku, stop with the Uwe Boll hate. There are far bigger arseholes out there that are deserving of our scorn.